A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girl friend have been together for almost 3 years. Everything was great til about 2 months ago when she said she wanted to go out and party and get drunk and go downtown with her friend. We have never been the couple to do all that. So it was a change for me. What should I do, should I let her go out and do all that? I’m not trying to keep her away from her friends just I’m not to comfortable with her going out and drinking with a bunch of single guys. I know how guys are down town and I can admit it my girlfriend is a very good looking girl, guys have always tried to get with her. So I’m just worried that she will get to drunk and end up doing something stupid that will end our relationship. She got mad and said that she wanted to break it off if I don't let this happen is this right for her to be acting that way? Any advice would help me out Thanks!
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 She gave you an ultimatum huh? Well your choice is to either let her or don't. Why don't you ask her if you can come as well? I bet she dosent want you around huh?
Uh, anyone who would threaten to break it off if you don't let her go to a bar is not somebody who wants to compromise. And someone who is gonna do it whether you like it or not. And then probably lie about it to you because "she didn't want to hurt you".
I mean if she offered to extend an invitation to you its one thing, but if she is secretive in any way Id be concerned. But she will cheat if she wants to. Its not a question of doing something stupid, its a conscious decision on her part to cheat. And if this is totally out of left field...do what you want, but you have to decide whether this is a deal breaker or not. Apparently she thinks it is....which begs a whole host of other questions.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): Your being jealous and afraid of losing her because you have lost your confidence. Work on your confidence, trust her more and communicate more with each other to build your partnership to the next level. If you start controlling her and she dislikes it you will lose her because no free spirit wants to be told what to do.
Since you feel you may lose her perhaps you already suspect she is losing interest in you or is bored in the relationship. That's a bitter pill to swallow but if she wants to find greener pastures it's best to let her do it and find someone else that is more agreeable to your way of seeing the world. Life is uncertain, there are no guarantees.
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (31 July 2009):
She has told you that b/c she is looking at it differently than you she figures she is young and there is nothing wrong with going out with her friends. Your excuse for telling her not to go was that your so afraid of what she will do, well buddy I got news for you if she is going to cheat on you it doesn't take going out for a night of drinking to make that happen. You are being paranoid and if she does mess up well that will be on her don't you think, Why don't you just escort her to and from the bar to make sure she is getting around safely or better yet why not try to have a good time. I don't think this is a battle you would win in the long run she is just trying to do her and have some fun what is so wrong with that. You need to loosen up buddy
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