A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went out for drinks this past weekend with a man who I had met briefly by chance about a month before. This time,he noticed me on a dating site,and we got to talking and made plans to get together. I had a wonderful time with him,and I actually do already like him a lot. The conversation was great,we laughed and had a fun time together. I feel like we were very comfortable together,or atleast I know I was. He asked a lot of questions about me,my kids,we talked about a lot of different things and had a lot in common. Even asked to see pictures of my kids and dog. I did end up staying with him that night because I was too drunk to be driving home,and the bar we went to was two blocks from his house(we walked from there to the bar). We laid down and talked,had sex,and talked some more before just kind of drifting to sleep. Sometime before we fell asleep there was a quiet moment where he just said "I like you",out of nowhere. We were drunk,so I can't say whether he meant it or not,but I took it as a good thing. So the next morning,we both had to work. My car was actually parked about 20 minutes away,so he drove me to get my car. He dropped me off and said to let him know when I made it home,which I did(it's a bit of a drive.) He texted again later on to see how work was going. I texted him the next day just to say goodmorning. He texted goodmorning back to me,and I left it at that so as not to sound desperate. But now I am starting to get worried. There hasn't been talk of going out again,this is day number two since I have seen him. He hasn't said how he felt about the whole thing at all actually,we haven't discussed it. Is that normal for a guy after a first date? I know he's searching for a relatinship because we talked about that, but I'm just dying to know what he thought of me,and if we will see each other again. Is it reasonable of me to think we will probably see each other again,or should I just not get my hopes up since he hasn't said anything yet?
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male
reader, Fools_rush_in  +, writes (1 September 2011):
I feel for you totally - I'm currently going through exactly the same, although I'm the male half of the date! (In fact I checked your nationality to see whether you were perhaps my date haha!) Basically I think people like you and I often get really excited by someone when the first date goes well. But this is pretty counterproductive in the whole dating scenario, and causes us a lot of grief! The guy is told by everyone not to bombard the girl with calls, texts, etc. Some like to leave it for ages to make you 'want' them more....I assume some women (possibly like my date) do this too. I'm sure this guy's not a player. And if he said 'I like you' that is a pretty significant thing to say - guys tend not to say anything that could be held against them in the future unless they actually mean it.Best of luck with it - I really hope that both you and I have found our dream matches, and they feel the same.J
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (31 August 2011):
Hi there. If he said - "I like you" - I don't believe he said it because he was drunk. He probably said it because he does like you.
Trust me, it probably took some guts to say it at all.
Two days is nothing. On the other hand if it was 2 weeks or over 1 week, then maybe it might be a cause for concern. Not necessarily though.
He probably thought that after that day of texting each other, that he'd better give you some air to breathe, so he didn't crowd your space. So don't be too concerned about it.
You had a really nice time out together, so that's good.
Then he asked you to let him know when you reached home in your car, which indicates he cares. He wanted to know that you got there safely. A man wouldn't bother doing that if he didn't feel something for you.
It all sounds pretty positive to me. I can't see one single thing to worry about at all.
What you need to do now, is to just bide your time and go to work etc., and patiently wait until he calls you again.
Don't call or text him at all. Give him some space - it's important. Let him contact you.
Unless he has to go away with work for any reason, it's most likely that he will probably call you within a week or so at the earliest. Of course, it might even be earlier.
In the meantime however, do not worry. Think positive.
However, if he wants to see you next weekend, he's going to have to organise it with you before Saturday, or he might just miss out, mightn't he?
My husband, when we were dating 28 and half years ago, usually called me mid week - we'd been going out together about a year at the time, then one week he left it till Friday night to call me! I was a bit annoyed by this, as it was like I was simply an afterthought. So I got my mother to answer it and tell him that I was out with friends. I was at home, and I wanted to teach him a lesson. And he never did it again. He then called me on Wednesday nights from then on. It was perfect!
I realize that you are not to that stage just yet, however the point I am making here, is that you never let a man take you for granted.
I'm not saying that you should avoid his calls, however down the track, if he ever gets to calling you at the last minute - Friday night, for Saturday night - you could either get someone else to answer for you, put it on answer phone and don't pick up, or you could answer it yourself and depending on his mood or whatever is happening at the time, you could say that you are unavailable.
Be kind and respectful when you say this, because you don't want him to feel discouraged.
If you ever do this, don't make it sound like you are seeing someone else, you could say you are visiting a friend, or pursuing a hobby of yours, so you can't see him on that night. It doesn't matter if it's not true - you only want him to think that.
He then knows that you do have a life of your own, outside of your life with him. And that he can't take you for granted and that he can't always have his own way.
This keeps some unpredictability about you, and that you are not always available at the drop of a hat, which then makes you a challenge. Men do enjoy a challenge. It keeps them on their toes.
Men also love women who are:-
(1) Confident.
(2) Independent.
(3) Know who they are and know what they want.
(4) Will not be mistreated or taken for granted.
(5) Expect only the best from life, and won't accept anything less.
(6) Want to be treated with dignity and respect.
And if you do these things all the time, then you will always be treated well by men, and in fact by everyone!
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