A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I don't know if I'm being paranoid but for the last several months I've felt like my friends don't even remember I exist. I guess it's partially my fault because I'm not very talkative most of the time, I'm not as clever and funny as them and unlike them I don't have any anecdotes to tell after a crazy weekend. I guess we are all very busy and stressed with university and exams and each one of them has their own problems to worry about. I try to be supportive and caring and I think I'm always there if they need help but when they have serious problems I usually can't think of any useful advice to give to them. So, I try to contribute as much as I can but I've always felt like an outsider in the group.There are two of these people who I really admire and I'd do anything for them but I've never found the words to let them know. I'm just not very good at showing my feelings and making friends has never been easy to me. I don't think my friends are trying to ditch me, but if I suddenly stopped hanging out with them I don't think it would affect them much. I feel like I can't 'connect' with anyone. I don't think I'll ever have a true close friend. I just want someone to talk to me...
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female
reader, Spades +, writes (19 March 2010):
I forgot to sign in when I posted this answer.
A
female
reader, Missprettynpurple +, writes (19 March 2010):
i use to be the fat kid with the bad skin standing in the back ground.but now i try a live by this qoute " u undermind ureself other people will undermind" try different ways to increase ure confidence try joining some clubs at uni or outside uni.u need to learn to be happy within ureself when u do that people will feel like it's safe to connect 2 u in different ways.find a hobby something that makes u happy an find friends that value you as much as you value them!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): It's funny, because I have been feeling this way myself, and somehow hearing or reading that someone else is going through it too makes me feel a bit better.
What I have been doing are things to boost my own self-esteem. People can pick-up on those insecurities and treat you accordingly. Meaning by keeping their distance if they sense that you are uncomfortable with yourself and others.
But if they sense that you are happy and confident, they are more likely to want and enjoy your company.
This is a gradual process, so it's not going to happen over night. But doing things for yourself first will help, no matter how big or small.
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