A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:met a nice girl. went out for dinner, both said we had a nice time and wanted to meet up again.So arranged a time and place - we both sounded positive in communication etc. But the day before she said she had to postpone - concentrate of her studies, as something had happened and things weren't going all that well. She refused the idea of just meeting for a quick coffee as opposed to most of the day as was the original plan.So we re-arranged, but shes since cancelled again. No word yet on re-arranging.I don't know how to read it to be honest. She has something up which is clearly occupying her... maybe shes just confused... seems like she does want to meet up, and sounds positive and genuinely sorry (eg cancelling despite really looking forward to things) but just has other priorities. I think its a tough line between wanting to stay interested and hope she sorts stuff out, as we all deserve some slack at times, but I really don't want to think I'm being played. I've got some patience but only so much before I think I'm being taken for a mug... but then she has always been the one to suggest re-arranging and meeting again - so its not like I'm just being given a long brush off to a set of unwelcome advances (I hope!) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (24 October 2014):
 She could easily have met for a quick coffee, so it sounds like she's not interested.
Some people are very bad at being upfront and saying they don't want to take things further. The result is the other person gets strung along which is not fair and unkind.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 October 2014):
 I agree with Honeypie : give her the benefit of doubt and one more chance. ONE.
It is true that life gets very hectic and complicated at times, - reason for which she gets the third and last chance, then again yes, she does not sound very keen. Cancelling twice in a row , refusing to even come out for a quick coffee, not suggesting a rescheduling for a set day... uhm.
Don't be surprised, women are notoriously bad , and passive - aggressive, at this kind of things. They are STILL not being raised to be assertive and call a spade a spade , and many would have trouble to just say " ... On second thought, not a good idea "; and more so, precisely when THEY showed enthusiasm at first. In other words, personally I feel that she is trying to let you down easy because she's just not capable to say " Sorry buddy, I have changed my mind ". Then again of course I might be wrong- ergo, the third try. More then that... if you can't make it at the third attempt, then just conclude that Fate is against you and is signaling you to move on :).
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 October 2014):
 Maybe give her one last chance? Let HER pick the day/time and if she cancels again, then YOU stop wasting time on this one. Though I would be tempted to think she isn't THAT into you as she might have seemed to be. Cancelling twice in a row is (to me) a sign that everything else in her life is a higher priority than getting together with you. So whether you want to give her a 3rd chance or not, is up to you.
Would I tell her that this is her last chance? No. BUT IF she cancels this date too, I would just tell her that it doesn't seem like she has time for dating so you wish her luck and are going to back off. After that I would block her from social media and delete her number, because there really is no point in keeping her around.
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