A
female
 ,
*suallyConfused
writes:I starting seeing a friend of mine casually for 2 and a half months. We spent alot of time together and although it was 'casual' I think we both started to get feelings for each other. I know I did but wouldn't admit it to myself or him. At the start he would ask me what was going on with us and where it was heading but after 6 weeks or so he said that he was going to follow his dream and live in the UK for 6 to 12 months. I totally supported him and we kept seeing each other. We were friends and always said we wouldn't let anything get in the way of our friendship. At the start I think he wanted more and was kinda falling for me but in the end he just kept telling me what a great person I was and how he never wanted to do anything to hurt me and that he wanted to know me for the rest of his life (we both knew he was going away at this stage). A month ago he was acting strangely and he totally ignored me at a party then left with one of his mates. I didn't hear from him for a week and then we saw each other at a mutual friends - this is where it gets kinda comlicated - my car was broken into that day and my housemates dad saw the guy in my car, he said he was sure it was the guy I was seeing and assumed he was just fixing it. I was really confused and didn't know what to believe with him acting so strangely I didn't know what he was capable of or waht was going on in his head. I saw him only 2 hours after the car break in and my emotions where all over the place. I confronted him about it, told him what had happened and asked if it was him. He was totally shocked and told me that he would never do a thing like that and especially not to me. He said, "You know I have feeling for you why would I do that?" He ended up leaving and we were both fairly upset. I felt bad about it and realised it would not have been him and sent him a message apoligising and hoping there were no hard feelings. I haven't heard from him since and that was two and a half weeks ago. Although I felt really bad about accusing him of something like that I was really upset with him for ignoring me and then making no effort to say sorry or see me afterwards. He is going away tomorrow and I have some things of his and a card saying, Have fun, look forward to having a drink with you when you get back. that I want to give to him but I don't know if I want to see him and I honestly think he didn't want to see me anymore because he could see I was falling for him and he didn't want to hurt me. I just don't know if I should give him the card, see him, or just leave it completely. I want him to know I still want our friendship without him thinking I'm in love with him. Should I just wait until he comes back in a year or try to make things right before he leaves? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (13 June 2006):
 dear reader i hope this is not too late but i really things should be sorted before he goes because things will be so hard for you both when he comes back. i hope he has left you a address where you can contact him while his away. its always hard when friends feel strongly for eachother and doesn't very often end all smiles and roses but i hope your situation get resolved before its too late
i wish you the best of luck and if you can keep me posted
best wishes xxx
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (13 June 2006):
 It's NEVER wrong to try to fix a mistake.
Call him. Don't use the mobile phone; text is so cold and impersonal. Speak your mind, tell him your emotions were all over the place when that incident happened. Tell him that you got misleading information from someone that led you to make a weird accusation.
Be sure that he knows you're sorry and what you're really feeling, especially since you think the feeling might be mutual. The last thing you need is to spend the next 12 months (or forever) thinking "Gee, I wonder if he knew...?"
Try to keep things light, since you don't have an official relationship with him. So don't go all gooey, but be honest, so he knows where you two stand.
As someone who came to Australia "for a holiday" in 1987 and stayed, I can tell you with confidence that you can never really be sure where these overseas trips might lead, so be sure that the slate is clean between you.
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