A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a serious problem: I have a boyfriend of one year and I love him very much, over the past four months I have fallen in love with one of his friends. We are all in school together. I know I am young, but I know that I love both of them equally.I don't know what to do because I can't stop thinking about the other guy, even though I love my boyfriend and he is so good to me. I feel that no matter what I do I am going to end up hurt, and hurt my boyfriend or the other guy. This is a sign of my desperation, writing to an agony aunt site.Please help me! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 This is a tough position to be in. As you are still young, do you think you could manage without a boyfriend for a bit? Until you figure out what it is you want from a relationship? It may be that you are still too young to commit fully to one guy. That's not a bad or mean thing, it's just about the timing. You have some growing up still to do, sorry for sounding like an old fart, but the years between 16 and 26 hold a lot of change for most people.
If you are not 100% certain that you want to be with your current boyfriend, I think you should let him go for now. It may just be a short break, to let you think things through and come to a decision, but I think it might clear your head. It's also a bit unfair on him to have you mooning over somebody else. If he were doing this, you'd likely be very upset that he wanted to be with another girl in a serious way. Wouldn't you then want a break with him so that he could sort things out?
Just take the time to think all the possible scenarios all the way through. If you do x, then y happens. If you do z, then w happens. Sometimes thinking about the actions and possible consequences makes everything clear.
Good luck, and I hope everything turns out for the best.
A
female
reader, Onlyofyou1039 +, writes (20 August 2008):
This is a tough one. Let me ask you this: you'd leave a one year good relationship in the dirt for a guy youve only known a couple months?chances are, the friend has another. At least you have a good relationship with your bf. I say stay with him. Tell the friend you love your boyfriend and it won't work out. I know it sounds rough considering the fact you love them both but its a chance you gotta take.
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