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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: What do you do when you fall in love with two boys?please help me...I fell in love or I love two boys!Can that even happen?I'm 17 I really love my ex boyfriend but I'm not with him anymore(long story) and know I have a new boyfriend and I really fell in love with him but I can't forget my ex...
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female
reader, IceQueen11  +, writes (24 December 2012):
At the beginning of middle school, I met a guy(lets call him Lance)who was a year older than me. We hit it off immediately. About a year later, I learned that Lance was deeply in love with me. I didn't want to loose him as a friend, so I never mentioned it, and neither did he. I dated plenty of other guys, but none of them were serious, and he didn't say anything. Then high school happened. In the beginning of the year, my best friend (Renne) surprised me by telling me that she had started dating him. She had been crushing on Lance's ex best friend for over a year, and this sudden change surprised me. Since Lance and the other guy (lets call him Drew) had an very traumatic incident and now they hated each other, so Drew got really angry at Renne. I decided to start talking to Drew, and we ended up falling in love and dating. This made Lance and Renne very angry at me. Renne was mad because I had gotten Drew so easily and Lance ended up confessing his love to me. I didn't know what to do. He had been my best friend for years, so I told him I loved him too. That ended badly, though, because I refused to break up with Drew. Me and Lance didn't speak for over a year. Him and Renne did all sorts of stuff, and I hated them both for it. After a while, though, I realized I missed Lance terribly. Him and Renne broke up and got back together multiple times, But they really weren't conpatable. Then she moved. I decided I couldn't live with how things were and started talking to Lance again. Being on his bad side is scary, because he can ruin you. He can make anything about you sound horrible, and he had a lot of dirt on me. But he missed me too, so he forgave me and we started talking again...behind Drews back. Well, things escalated. We even hung out at my house and talked past when Drew said goodnight to me. Finally, I realized that I was falling for him. Then Renne came back. She kept pressuring him to get back with her and I didn't do anything. Lance got angry and demanded that I tell him what I felt about him. I told him I was in love with him and Drew and I couldn't decide. I hate all of this. I don't want to cheat on Drew, but telling him anything will end our relationship. If I hurt Lance, he'll take everything I've said and use it against me. Help?
A
female
reader, abbyr0se +, writes (23 November 2009):
I am going through something similar. I was dating guy #1 for 3 years. Things were going great until I started feeling sort of anxious and like I wanted something more/different in my life. Around this time, a guy that I had been close friends with for a very long time told me that he had feelings for me. I broke up with my boyfriend and started a relationship with him. He is very sweet and I loved every second of being with him during the beginning of our relationship. After a few months, however, I realized that I still love and care for my ex very much, and I started to feel scared and unsure about lunging into this new thing so fast. I could not stand to see my ex hurting or lonely and wanted to be with him to make him and myself feel better. I hastily broke it off with guy #2, stopped speaking to him for a short period of time, and rekindled my relationship with my ex. However, soon after the relationship rekindled, I started to feel the way I felt just before we broke up: still anxious and like I wanted something more/different. It made me miss guy #2 and feel like I had made a mistake. I feel like I want something new in my life, like a new relationship, but I love guy #1 so very much and I just don't know what we will do without each other in our lives. I don't want to make him feel sad and alone, the way he did the first time I broke up with him, and I don't want to miss him all over again. He is one of the best friends I have ever had, but I just don't feel like I am getting what I want out of our relationship anymore. I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Funny, I'm going through the same thing right now except with three. I guess you can say I only tuly LOVE the guy that rejected me. I never understood why I did so much for him, but of course he chose my best friend over me. Who was the idiot who introduced the two? ME. Anyway. The feeling never went away It's been over 6 months. I'm dating someone now and I truly care for him, but it's not the same feeling and witht he boy I'm with now I'm more inclined to think of other people, where as the other guy I would only think about him and making him happy. So my advice is give it time. Over time you'll learn to pick one guy over the other and you'll learn to forget about your ex. Either that or you'll develope a deep hatered for him because of the emotional agony he causes you. Wish you luck.
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female
reader, kelpel +, writes (5 January 2007):
I completely agree with helpful girl, you are just not over your ex yet. Its natural to still love someone you are no longer with - you cant just turn off your feelings over night it takes time. Again, focus on the future, try to spend some time away from your new boyfriend as well - with your friends and enjoy yourself. I felt the same when I was 19 my ex left me and I got with my current partner shortly after as we had been friends for a long time. In the end I had to spend time away from both ofthem, I actualy took a holiday abroad in the sun, and by the end of the week my mind was much clearer and I was able to fel happy and start to fall in love with my new man. when I saw my ex a few months later all those feelings had faded away.
You will probably never stop caring for him, but in time you will learn to move on. This time next year I bet you wil look back and wonder what all the fuss was about,
keep smiling, be happy xx
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