A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I feel very down as I have done something so stupid. I'm 32 and in love with someone who doesn't want me. We've been "seeing each other" for 5 months and usual he told me at start he doesn't want a relationship but we both fall for each other as a result we now say I love you and have grown closer. We have agreed that were be each others main partner and are together but in an open relationship. I'm was happy for this as I like going out meeting guys having fun with friends and he doesn't want a relationship, not ready to stop playing the field. So all was well and good. However now his taken to spending weekend with one particular woman....and that I can't deal with. Sex is sex and going out getting drunk and having a one night stand (with protection) that's one thing, like said i don't mind that. It may seem odd but i'm a pretty unconventional person so it works for me...but to have a whole weekend with someone or to do as I found out he did last night (took someone his previously slept with on a romantic date) that for me is going too far...that is not me as the main lady in his life his partner and it shows how unimportant I really am. I asked him not to do this and he has now ceased talking to me and sent me all my stuff back that was left as his flat. He claims he loves me but it's over. I agree, we can't carry on, but it hurts so much. He had everything he wanted, and I hate him that it still wasn't enough... How to I get over this man and stop feeling like I wasn't good enough for him. Fact that his spending bank holiday weekend with another lady and not me...that proves just how much I mean to him, which is nothing!
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 August 2011):
 He may have told you that it was an open relationship but really it was just a FWB kind of thing. You agreed that you could both see other people and the danger is always that one of you might meet someone they like better.
He has met someone he likes better and there isnt much point thinking he should have been loyal to you, because you just didn't have a one on one relationship.
He has stopped talking to you and given your stuff back and this is a sign that he has moved on. OK I know he said he loved you but his action say otherwise. If he loved, respected and wanted you, he would be with you and not someone else.
Im so sorry you got hurt over this but maybe when you meet someone else, you will be more inclined to keep things as one on one. Getting into a similar thing (open relationship) with someone else just gives them licence to use and dump you.
Forget him, he has gone...work on yourself and go and find someone who will give all their love time and focus to you...because I think thats what you truly want.
Good luck
AE x
A
female
reader, cinc71  +, writes (19 August 2011):
 I think you can either be only with him or move on. You're maybe more attach to him than you want to admit. Maybe it's too late, you need to see your priorities and determine what you really want. When you do, have a good talk with him to see where he stands. Good luck!
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