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I'm in love with my stepbrother! What should I do?

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2008) 17 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am in love with my step brother. We've been seeing each other in secret for the past year. We know it's wrong, but he's the only one who gets me. My sister caught us together and won't even look at me, and she has threatened to tell my mum. But i can't imagin being without him. It will destroy my family if it comes out, but i love him. What shall i do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016):

I think you need to be honest with your mom and your stepdad and tell them that you have feelings for your stepbrother. You said your sister won't look at you at all. She might be a bit uncomfortable about the fact that you and your stepbrother are flirting with another and she thinks it is weird because you guys are like family. And he is suppose to be like family

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A female reader, Eagle'sfan1986 United States +, writes (14 November 2016):

I think I know how you feel, I thought I was in love with my stepbrother back in 2013 and 2014 but it was just flirting that me and him done with each other. Tell your sister that you rather let your mom and stepdad know how you feel about your stepbrother, not letting her tell on u aND your syep brother also. One other thing you should really talk to them about the new relationship not keep it from them both.

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A female reader, shybookworm1490 United States +, writes (14 November 2014):

I think i agreed with almost everyone about falling in love with your stepbrother.

what if you two dated aand it didn't work out and you both will break up you both will be seeing each other for the rest of your lives and it could effect the entire family. trust me, that it would be so weird to date and fall in love with your stepbrother.

i am gaining a stepbrother in a couple of months. i grew up knowing him since he was eight and i was fifteen. true i never saw him for along time since he gotten older and hair was so long when he started his band with his friends back in high school. I knew his dad for almost my whole life and both our parents started dating each other in 2005 after my real dad passed away, and now my mother is engaged to my almost stepbrother's dad and we are all going to become a family with me, my real brother, my sister, my soon to stepbrother and my brother in-law. and my almost stepbrother has been acting pretty weird when we are alone with each other last weeks ago and last year also. but we don't see each other except as family.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011):

i was in the exact same problem. first off theres absolutely NOTHING wrong about it! LOVE IS LOVE! i was really scared to tell anyone. we were in a secret relationship for 2 years.you need to tell them before she does. it will be hard but they may understand it would be better then her telling them. trust me

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A female reader, Sexified226 United States +, writes (9 July 2011):

It's actually not wrong or illegal I've been with my step brother for 2 years and we just recently came out with it and out married Parents prett much hate us for it and kicked us out and I haven't talked to either o e of them since but I'd rather be happy the hard way than be miserable the easy way and that's who I am and if they can accept it than I guess I just won't have a relationship with my dad anymore and yeah it sucks but I am in love with him and I've been with hm longer than they have Been married and his mom is an alchoholic an my dad is a dope head and neither of them care about what makes us happy and they can't stop us they obviously tried and epicly failed. If you rele love him you will give up anything to be with him no matter how hard it is I did and Im so much happier now that we don't have to hide it. I don know if your still with him but if y

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010):

I have known my step brother since i was 10 (now 41). We had a 'fling' wen I was 18 but both moved cos of our jobs. We have always been very close since, there has always been that spark there. I stayed at his several years ago & one thing led to another & yes we ended up in bed. We now meet up wen we can & being with him is so different. It doesn't seem wrong or sick as some people think, if anything, it couldn't be more right. I agree with the family part if people knew it wud break a lot of hearts but you 2 are a lot younger & if you are in love, then you will work things out.

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A male reader, kayzzar Canada +, writes (29 May 2010):

You should really have as much sex as possible. And do NOT use condoms, the pill, or ANY form of birth control.

Once he has truely seeded and impregnated you, your family will have no other option than to accept your puppy love.

Look, it worked for Bristol Palin. It can work for you too.

But if you don't wanna go that far, just give him bj's or let him do you analy (that way you can't get knocked up yet until your ready).

Good luck

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A female reader, ash99 United States +, writes (23 August 2009):

im going threw the same stuff but you shouldnt tell anyone cuz they will keep you apart but you should stop seeing him for about five or six months I know it will heert but you will haft to, then you can see each other but still a secret. I know how you feel.

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A female reader, Sayuri Norway +, writes (9 June 2009):

i understand u ;) in together with my brother but we are so afraid to be found out buy or other 2 brothers becouse they thinks soutch things are grouse ..... but we keep together no mather what....

i must say thou i aggre whit one of the other talk to your sister and if se dosent listen get you brother to come with u and tell ur parents so that u dont stand alone it may become worse if your sister tells them, maybe they can understand u guys but i dont know if they'll will aprove with it... but if its to hard i hope u get mutch suport from ur brother ;) 33

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A female reader, Hemans United States +, writes (28 April 2009):

Hemans agony auntYou are just fine honey. You are not doing anything illegal - the only issue you may have is with your family, but even they will get over it in time, I promise. Follow your heart, he is not A blood relative, it would be no different than dating some guy off the street.

You are just fine. Do what you want.

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A female reader, Appletizer United Kingdom +, writes (28 July 2008):

Appletizer agony auntI know exactly where your coming from, I feel the exact same way . . . (fortunatly I don't have a sister to get caught by).

I havn't slept with him but We fool around ALOT!!

Personally I think you should discus the issuse with your sister . . . or (if she won't listen) talk your parents anbout it . . . before your sister does

xxxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

deny it and never omit to it....never get involved in admitting anything....you should have never got caught!!..but you did have sex, so enjoy it for what it is...and keep family and friends out of this...it will seriously hurt people!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008):

It is NOT wrong to be in love with your stepbrother. Like the other poster said, you do not have a common blood ancestor, so dating him is just like dating anyone else that you're not related to. Check the laws where you live, though, to see if it is legal for step-siblings to marry. If your mum or sister say anything about it, tell them what I just said, you and your stepbrother are not blood relatives, so it's just like dating someone else that you're not related to. So keep seeing each other as long as you want.

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2008):

lexilou agony auntOk if you dont share a parent at all i.e. have completely different fathers and mothers then it is NOT wrong. You are not blood related in this case and this happens an awful lot. Yes you're famiy may be disappointed but that doesnt mean what you are doing is illegal in any way. Yes some people may find it odd that if you are raised as brother and sister it seems wrong but that is peronal opinion and no one should be nasty to you about this.

The one thing I will say is that you are still very very young and feelings do change so it may be best to keep it quiet for now. Explain this to your sister, tell her that you want to be allowed to deal with this in your own time when you are maybe both a little older.

If however you do share one parent then it IS wrong and illegal and you must stop this now, be mature and vow to keep your relationship as step brother and sister only x

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A female reader, dangerouslove. United States +, writes (16 June 2008):

dangerouslove. agony auntHave you ever thought of how your family would feel if they found out you we're inlove with your step brother?

Just because he isnt your real brother and your own blood, doesn't make it acceptable.

You need professional help. I know we can't control who we love, but we can control what we do with the ones who love and how we act on it.

You are definetly acting on this the wrong way.

You need to move on from this and let him know you two cannot do this anymore.

You will ruin your family for the sake of your own happiness, and in the end you'll probably realize you don't really love him! Your only in your early teens - you don't understand the concept of love.

If you know it's wrong, then why are you continuing to do it? You are not very responsible.

Which proves me you don't realize how much emotional damage your causing to your family and to yourself.

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A female reader, dangerouslove. United States +, writes (16 June 2008):

dangerouslove. agony auntThat's just wrong.

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A female reader, Verity-loves-Him United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2008):

Well to be honist i dont no what to say but this isent good. Are you sure that you love i mean it could be infacuion or somthing. Maybe try fine someone else!!

Or talk to your mum.

Verity

xxx

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