A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused about what to do about my feelings for my female bestfriend who is straight (atleast, I think she is). I'm straight too (atleast, I thought I was).My bestfriend and I are sooo close. We talk and/or text everyday. She gets upset when I don't send her goodmorning texts and crap like that. When we argue and make up, I swear its like a boyfriend and girlfriend. She gets jealous of my boyfriends, she says she feels like they are taking her spot. She tries to discourage my relationships alot of the time. We hug and kiss eachother on the cheek like all the time. She always smiles after I kiss her. One of the guys she's dated before told me that she said something super gay and then he said "I wouldn't be surprised if I caught you two naked in bed together". I'm sitting there like "What did she say?" And as he was about to say it, she cuts him of and says, "Shut up, I told you not to repeat that". She loves for me to run my fingers through her hair, she says no one does it like I do. A couple of days ago, we sat for like 20 mins cuddled up with me sitting on her lap and my head on her shoulder just talking. She was holding me. She rubbed her hand across my lower back and I jumped and said "Stop it.." in a flirty voice..indicating that it was a "sensitive spot" that made me sort of turned on. Every couple of seconds, she rubbed that spot again to keep getting the same reaction out of me. I liked it, I only said stop so that she wouldn't realize how much I wanted her to continue and do more.I know that I'm nuts about her because I keep battling this feeling about her. I'm in love with her. It took me a while to admit it to myself and even longer to admit it to her. A WHILE ago, I admitted that I was in love with her. When I admitted it, I told her I didn't want to be friends with her anymore because I didn't want to be gay and she was the only girl I felt like this about.. so if I stopped being friends with her, I would be able to get over it in time and I wouldn't have to label myself as gay. She got upset at me because I wanted to end the friendship. I didn't really give her a chance to tell me if she felt the same or not, but I have a feeling that even if she does feel the same, she's afraid to admit it just like I was. Thats sort of why I immediately jumped to end the friendship, I was afraid she'd want to after that. She did say that just because I felt that way doesn't make me gay. She stated and I quote: "I have gay moments about you too, I even had a gay dream before LOL" (We were texting at this point) She was pleading her case to basically keep me as her bestfriend. She said she didn't want to lose me and she was actually angry with me for attempting to give up on our friendship. I ended up telling her that I think I was just going through a weird phase and I don't feel that way anymore.. I said that because I honestly thought I could get over it. After that, things went back to normal, but I distanced my self just a little for a while. She noticed and would get pissed off at me about it but I didn't tell her why I did. I just recently started hanging with her everyother day like I used to and I feel like I have relapsed on my addiction of her. I don't know what to do. I don't know if she feels the same. I just don't know at all. There is a possibility that im misreading her and she is straight. We have done plenty of double dates and we talk about guys to eachother. She seems to really like some of her guys sometimes. She does always compare her guys to me, though. She was excited that one of her guys acted similarly to me. She's single right now, but I have a boyfriend. I think I love my boyfriend, but I feel like I'm not "head over heels" for him like I could be because I love her so much. I find myself wanting to be around her more than him, feeling more of a rush from her touch than his, having more and more of a desire to do things with and to her and I have no idea if she has that same urge.. I'm so confused.What should I do?
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female
reader, doraatuha  +, writes (14 March 2013):
I just read your post ...and I can tell you am in the same scenario ..
..I told her I loved her and she didn't give me a negative response but not a positive either .....I tried kissing her and she kind of pushed me away ....so am still hanging in there and knowing one day she will reciprocate...how far with yours?
A
female
reader, Plumb +, writes (16 October 2012):
 She seems to be giving of some major signals. So of course you would get a bit misleaded, I really think you should ask her if she's of a different sexual orientation. You guys seem close enough to have a conversation like that I'm assuming, if you do this then you get closure on weither she's into you or whatever she may be doing. If that happens then I'd highly suggest you do distance yourself again so these feelings could fade and you get more time with your boyfriend.
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