A
male
age
,
*onfused-abt-ex
writes:I love with my Ex, and both of us are remarried!!Okay, here it goes. We were married for 28 years, and have two beautiful daughters. My wife could no longer handle the kids, and had an affair which let to our divorce. We both got remarried, she married the *** she cheated with on me with, and I married a wonderful lady.Both of us have been re-married for 4 years, however we started to really talk again. We both know now that we are each others soulmate, and we made mistakes in our life together. I love my current wife, however don't have the same connection I had/have as with my Ex. Again, we were married for 28 years. She admits she made a big mistake. We want to be together, I am very confused at this point and believe I want this as well. I know nobody can answer what to do, since this really ours to figure out.Anyone else been in this kind of mess love triagle before.... Please give me your input !!
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male
reader, confused-abt-ex +, writes (10 November 2011):
confused-abt-ex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all, as I said I am confused. What everyone here has said, I already thought about. I am just so confused and scared to talk to anyone I know. I don't want to hurt my wife, she is a great person, wife and friend. However, I can't stop thinking about my Ex and she communicated that she feels the same.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011): So now u become the cheater as well. This woman was slepping around while u were married, she continued until u divorced. She married her lover AND now she discovers that she made a mistake? What a travesty of justice if u decide that u want to now be with this woman. Can u ever trust her again? Hell No!!!!
Yes 28 years is a long time BUT if she truly loved u she would not have been having sex with the other man. Do u want to wonder what she's up to everytime she's not with u. Do u want to start checking her cell and email just to prove that she's still faithful? When she's late do u start panicking again?
How many lovers did she have during your marriage. Trust me it was not one! Over the years she would have played around and u were clueless.
Right now u are emotionally cheating your second wife. This is wrong, so damn wrong! She will be hurt, devastated even. Is this what u want?
So your ex married her lover: what happened? She's bored with him? The illicit sex, the sneaking around, the forbidden is now all over and boring marriage ensured? If u do decide to leave your current wife for your ex , do u think your ex can remain faithful? I don't think so. You see OP your wifes true character has been revealed. She's the cheating type and she will not stop. She has proven that marriage is boring to her, that marriage doesn't sustain her and that she craves the excitment and the forbidden. That is why she is now restless in her own marriage and fool that u are, u think u can make it again with her.
I'm normally all for saving long standing marriages but in this instance I believe that u will be a bigger fool now, than the cuckold u were previously if u go back to her.
Make a life with your new wife. She will and can make u happy. Don't look back at the 28 years, its just a number. Remember your ex threw your Marriage and life away for her lover, why would u want to get back with someone who has no respect for marriage. Just look at her willingness to look at her cheating on her current husband.
Stay away from her, she doesn't deserve u.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011): are you sure your ex is your soul mate and you're not just in-love with the nostalgia and familiarity of those 28 years? maybe you want to get back together with her because you feel that will undo the pain and damage that she caused you, or erase it.
remember - she cheated on you. and she married that guy too. how do you know that if you two get back together, she won't cheat on you with him again, or you won't be missing your current wife.
Think long and hard on this. will your relationship be healthy or will you have trust issues? Even now you refer to the guy she re-married as a *** . You don't see her new marriage as legitimate because that wound is still raw, obviously. no one can blame you for that. But if you get back together with her, that wound will be rubbed in your face daily. Are you ready for that?
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (10 November 2011):
 Just keep in mind how hurt your current wife would be if you cheated on her. You and your ex should both ensure you are single before you make any moves.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 It sounds like you should follow your heart and maybe go back to your ex wife. These situations are never easy and am sure you do not want to hurt your current wife but you cannot help how you feel. However in regards to your ex wife well not only did she have sex behind your back she went on to marry this man so this tells me she has/had deep feelings for him. Before considering taking her back you need to be sure that you can trust her, because if there is no trust there is no future. So this is something that you need to think about. Also is she prepared to leave her new husband for you. Sit down with her and ask her what does she want and how things will be different.
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