A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help me, I have been with a man for a six months now who is absolutely adorable to me, but who is also a binge alcoholic. He never drinks at home and we get on wonderfully. But every so often, say once every 6 weeks he'll go on a bender which lasts from Friday to a Monday, and this whole time will be spent in the pub from opening to close, talking to people until they literally have run out of things to say, and then he comes back to me and as he says "to repair the damage". He tells me its a selfish illness, and I'm seeing that it is so much. The last binge session he spent £350. He is honest about his problem, and after the last session he asked me not end it but to give him the chance to prove he can be a half decent, trust worthy human being. I love him very much, he wouldn't cheat on me and I can accept its a disease. His dad is an alcoholic too. I have been on holiday for a week with a friend and he has constantly been contacting me telling me how much he adores me and misses me etc, well I got home today and text him, no reply, this can only mean he is on a binge weekend, he is un-contactable and I will not hear from him until after next weekend when he tries to repair the damage. any advice would be great xxIm a very strong person and not prepared to walk away.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (29 May 2010):
Get to Al-anon... it's a great resource to those of us who love an alcoholic. They thought me how to continue to love them through the illness, so that she could seek help on her own terms & timeline. Saved me from a living hell, and today, what I learned to get me through those crappy times helps me 1000X more than I ever thought. Today, live is great, but I still call on the life skills I learned there!
He's likely telling you the truth, and he likely loves you to pieces, but an addict has to do what they do till they bottom out and then seek recovery. You need to learn how NOT to interfere with this process, so that he gets help as quickly as he ASKS for it... you don't need to do anything except not enable him. If you love him, let him find his bottom, admit defeat and then start the road to recovery.
It sucks are first, but then the hope and joy erases all that.
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