A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. im 18 and have been in a relastionship for 2 years with a 56 year old married man who ive known for 6 years. i cant have any other relastionships because im so in love with him. but i dont want 2 be in love with him. it just makes me want to curl up in a hole and die....any ideas what i can do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): Well, sorry to be hipocritical here but i'm a 18 year old girl and i'm in a relationship with a 26 year old man myself. At first i had ALOT of doubts about our relationship as thats a 8 year age gap itself, but hun this is a bit too extreme.
I know how it feels to really care for someone but do you not think he is a bit too old for you? Also there is the fact he is married. You really need to get out of this one whilst you can, find someone your age or above but not by more than 10 years or so. Go out and have a good night with friends or something and you'll soon find someone else thats much better for you!
Also you have to think, if you were his wife how would you feel to find out your husband was with an 18 year old?
Sorry to sound harsh, just thought you need some clear advice
Good luck with everything
A
female
reader, bluntasaspoon  +, writes (10 August 2008):
 hmmmmm yup ur right this is a problem. ok here goes if u really dont want to love him anymore then it sounds like u already dont love him.. if that makes any sense. it sounds like u are at the beginning of the end, and in all honesty hun it will only get a bit worse from here on in.
ur heart is a verry delicate thing and when it has its very first feeling of love it really dont want to let it go. u need to realise that u will love again, maybe not as strong as this love but it will grow into something stronger as time goes on. u will never forget this man but by asking for advice u have taken the first steps to leaving him.
i can totally understand why u feel in a huge like u need a dark hole that u can just bury yourself into but try not to let that happen. go away somewhere quiet, where there are no memories of him, no one that will talk to u about him and somewhere that u feel safe.
but i really do feel for u. the worst kind of break up is with someone u still care about. but all u ahve to do is remember that if anyone found out about the 2 of u then there would be more people hurt than just u. u must try ur hardest to end all contact with him and if u get really down then im me o.k. hope this helps
bluntasaspoon x
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A
female
reader, love reigns! +, writes (10 August 2008):
 Yes,
Keep telling yourself the truth...He is using you for cheap thrills. He would be with you exclusively. Remember he is sleeping with his wife whenever he can. When you were 12, he was 50. I don't mean that to sound cliche because now you're over 16. Identify why you're 'in love' with 'him'. The idication that you don't want to be is a sure fire sign that it is a charismatic scenrio that you're in love with. Not him. The reason you don't want to be is 1) You know you would never actuall love someone that is unfaithful and manipulative enough to cheat unremorsefully on you and break the vows he made...lie to you and his wife at his convinience. As there must be times when he may be close to getting caught or when you question he on his situation with the wife. Any way I'm not going to tell you..you're a bad person for doing this. He made the vows not you. However love yourself enough to leave him and let him seduce another fool. Do activities that will make you feel good aboutyou and set goal...You're young.
If there's a divorce, don't be the cause because he'll do the same you. If he is not faithful to you now that you can f89nd someone else....Think about what would happen if you were married.
Find a young love, love. Don't let him steal your youth. He's lived his life and still is. Live yours...Be strong ok.
Good luck.
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