A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi guys mine is a really complicated story I was in love with a guy for one and a half years who kept me completely happy and satisfied but he is 3 years younger than me and from a different religion so our marriage was not possible and i had to go for an arranged marriage just 4 months back. my husband is 9 years elder to me and he works abroad. immediately after marriage he went back and he doesn't talk to me at all. he doesn't have anything to tell me other than he's busy at work and very tired. he just calls once in a week and hardly talks for 30 mins, that too with lots of silence in between. after marriage i got emails from an anonomous person stating that he is already having an affair with someone else for past so many years and he just married me due to parents pressure nd he is cheating on me. i asked my husband regarding this and he just gave a lame excuse that someone who didn't like him mailed me all the crap. i got my visa very early still he has asked me to come only next month he kept postponing my travelling dates. its been 10 days since we talked. I am so deeply frustrated with marriage that i want to seperate but my parents are asking me to go there and clear out things. looks like only his dad was interested in this marriage as he tries to patch things between us but it doesn't work at all. my ex-bf still loves me so much that he is ready to accept me but he doesn't want me to go there and live with my husband and suffer again. this is my husband's second marriage and he and his parents say they don't know why his 1st wife left him, it lasted only for 6 months. he is totally nonromantic and i feel i was never married. i am still in love with my bf. sometimes i feel my husand justs want me to say i am not interested in this marriage to our parents so that nobody blames him as this is his 2nd marriage . I seriously can't take this mental torture and my family can't understand my situation. plz help. i don't know what to tell them and how to tell him neither our parents that i want to seperate. i seriously regret getting married to him. plz help me with some good advice .
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affair, at work, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): This sounds rather morbid but it is a good way to make a decision:"When you have died and are in the next life looking back at your time on earth how do you want to see your life? You only get one chance here to do as much as you can. You can look back and think I made some tough decisions and times weren't easy but despite that I gained wisdom and happiness. Or you can look back and think I took the easy path and didn't try to make my own way through, if only..."Everyone wants fufilment and happiness but life wasn't made to be easy. This is a tough challenge, but if you weren't capable of overcoming it then you wouldn't have to face it. You have the strength within you to do what is best. Get an annulment on you marriage while its still early days and if its too late divorce this awful man, your parents have their beliefs but love and happiness should be the main priority. Go back to the one who's meant to be, you could have a beautiful future and children one day. If you stay how you are then life will pass you by.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 January 2010):
I think this is a time when you have to look at your life and decide what you want. You know this guy isn't the one, you know your ex is. So take a deep breath, and end it. You'll feel so much better about it all. Yes, your parents will no doubt be hurt, yes, his parents will be. But you have to live your own life for yourself, not anyone else. Don't' settle for second best.
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