A
female
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*appytochat
writes:Heres my problem, I have a tendency to get realllyyy upset about things, even 'little things'. Especially when people make jokes about me, it gets me so down I dwell I will probably dwell on it for the next few days. For example, I made a mistake in a conv with my bf and I said 'oops sorry' and he said sarcasticly 'no I dont forgive you' and for some reason that really hurt me, even though I knew he was joking, it just really upset me. That i just one example of the many similar things that get me upset. That particular incident happened 2 days ok and as you can see, I am still dwelling on it and it still gets to me. Why do peoples jokes get me so down? I don't have much self confidence and in school I did have a group of frineds who always bullied me through 'sarcastic jokes', thats how they got away with it, they would make out as if they were joking yet really they emant to hurt me. Do you think maybe this is why I still get so upset? Like I always get paranoid about whether or not that joke really did have true meaning to hurt me or not. Please help! I hate feeling this way and whenever I talk to it about people they never understand tell me to 'get over it' and to 'stop over reacting'. Please help! Thankyou.
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female
reader, happytochat +, writes (12 January 2006):
happytochat is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys so much! It really meant alot to me that you all replied and it was just a relief that knowing some people do actually understand how I feel! I was kind of scared to right it, thinking people would reply and be like 'get over it! and stop being a cry baby', as thats what my friends would always say when i confronted them. But thanks alot! I'm going to try and think of things in a new way like you guys suggested :)
A
female
reader, shortandsweet408 +, writes (11 January 2006):
 I know exactly what you mean!!! My bf will make jokes very OFTEN and most of the time I feel as if he used sarcasm to tell the truth, just like your friends. It hurts me too. I also have wondered what to do. I've been with him for almost 2 years so I should know him by now, but we have had our ups and downs and sometimes I feel like he is telling the truth in order for me to leave him alone or something. So I started ignoring his little jokes (similar to the "not forgiving" one your boyfriend said to you) and he comes to me and says he's sorry. You're right though, when you have dealt with that all of your life, and its not something you do in your normal conversation, you often can't tell whether he means it sarcastically or for real! I guess we can just laugh it off and look them in their eyes, or even start to have clever comebacks... thats what I've also started doing. So next time you say, "oops sorry!" and he says, "no I don't forgive you" say, "GOOD :)". And you two can go on with the day and laugh about it.
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (11 January 2006):
 Ok, so you maybe sensitive to peoples remarks even when they are joking,but hey! so what.I think what happened in your past with those group of so called friends making sarcastic comments didnt really help,did they? So are you going to let them affect the rest of your life? Hell i wouldnt.Next time,when someone makes a joke whether its a boyfriend or a mate,just smile and laugh it off,act casual,and then forget it.You will find later on in life that there will be other stresses and problems that will need dealing with and you will look back and remember the time when you used to get upset when people made silly jokes to you and it wont seem that important anymore,believe me,i know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): Hi there, I sort of understand how you feel as I used to feel the same at school. It all got too uch for me one day and I had it out with the people who were making sarcastic jibes. getting my feelings out in the open with my friends really helped. I think you should talk to someone, like your best friend, or even a counsellor to develop a thicker skin to these sorts of comments. It can take time but letting it build up inside will not do you any good.
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