A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I still can't get over my anger and hatred for this ''friend'' who lied and deceived me over a man I was very close too. This girl pretended she was my friend. She said she had a boyfriend, but was hanging round this man (I was close too) all the time. When I questioned her about it - she totally fooled me by saying she wasn't interested in him, that she already had a man and I believed her over him as I thought she was loyal to me.I foolishly joked with her about this guy - but she obviously exaggerated the things I said and told him and now he won't speak to me. Fast forward 3 months and the two of them are now "an item" with her boyfriend suddenly off the scene. - Now I know people can date who they like, but I hate the fact this girl lied to me and then deceived me and her boyfriend, causing friction and drama between us all. I tried to forget - but even now - a year on I still feel betrayed and hurt and a fool for believing all her sly lies. And things between us all are no better. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 October 2016):
 You need to try and bury this now and not allow it to hurt you any more. It is horrible when people we trust let us down. But that is life, and you need to let it go or it will make you bitter, and you don't want that.
She is not a friend, and well he obviously was not wanting to be with you romantically or he would not have fell for her lies or dismissed you so quickly. Keep them both out of your life and move forward.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2016): Hi - I am the OP. HoneyPie - your words are very true!
As regards - not enough information for the others. I know she lied to me, as things came out later that only could have happened whilst they were seeing each other. Yes - it was a joke that could be considered harmful - but all I know is he was never the same with me after I shared it with her.
As HP said I guess she wasn't worth having as a friend & he ISNT a keeper.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 October 2016):
 I agree that it seems like information is missing, though I will say this, IF this guy was serious about you and into you... I don't think he would have listened to your "friend" over little stuff, he would either have talked to you or ignored her.
So my guess is, while you FELT him and you were getting close, you really weren't.
And IF this guy... wants to date a girl like that... he isn't worth your tears.
So now you know. SHE isn't a friend and his isn't a Keeper.
Time to move on.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (6 October 2016):
 Agreed with ciar, there's not enough information.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (6 October 2016):
 Very little real information to go on here.
Is it possible that when she said she had no interest in the man she was actually telling the truth - at that time? They may have developed feelings afterward, but unsure if and how to proceed did not want to tell anyone too soon.
Were you attracted to him yourself? Hoping for more than friendship with him?
What jokes did you make about him? At first I assumed that you joked about wanting him yourself, but whether that was exaggerated or not, it's hardly something for him to be angry enough to know want to speak to you again. So, I'm guessing it was some sort of harmless, but insulting joke?
What makes you think she deceived her boyfriend? If she developed feelings for the man, ended it with her boyfriend so she could date him, then really, she's done the right thing. No doubt it would have hurt him, but that doesn't mean she did wrong.
All this is speculation on my part. Not enough information here.
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