A
female
age
30-35,
*lower89
writes:Ok my question is about a man from work,he's always really nice to me which is fine, but he's 40 and I am 24 But I'm starting to worry slightly as during presentations (he's senior management) he always seems to hold my eye contact A LOT! And then I see him watching and looking at me a lot in the office even when am with other people, and today I was chatting to him about work and he praised me and starting rubbing my arm, but I contd saying what I had to, and he kept on rubbing my arm, found that really odd, the thing is am wondering if he has a thing for me which am really hoping he doesn't as I want to do well in work and can't deal with complications like that as he is married! Is this just me being over sensitive or do other people read what am thinking :/.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 October 2013):
 I too agree with SVC.
And like Daisy said you don't HAVE to verbally confront him, you can just move out of range. It will send a signal for him to NOT touch you. Now if he KEEP on doing it despite you moving away, then you DO need to put on your BIG GIRL panties and tell him, I'd rather you didn't touch me, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
It's pretty simple.
Whether he "likes" you or not - doesn't matter, just be professional and nip this "touching thing" in the bud.
Christmas season is coming up with Christmas parties and drunk people, you really don't want some drunk boss groping you. Thus, nip it in the bud now.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (23 October 2013):
 I don't think you're being over sensitive at all. If you feel he's flirting then you're probably right. Some people see flirting as harmless fun, but it's not harmless if you feel awkward/ uncomfortable. He shouldn't be rubbing your arm, that's too much even if he just so happens to be a particularly tactile man.
I agree with what SVC suggests, but If you can't bring yourself to speak up, taking a step back/ away from him when he touches you should get the message across. If he stares at you in presentations, avert your own eyes elsewhere. Don't let him think you're joining in with the flirting. What I've noticed with flirty married men is that they move on quickly when they get nothing back.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (23 October 2013):
 Great advice from Aunty SVConfused.
What she says and times it by two from me.
AB x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2013): No, your feelings are on target. His rubbing your arm was coming on to you. Just don't overreact. I suggest that you never be alone with him, never get within reach. If he violates your space, slowly back away.The way to end getting hit on in the office, is by keeping out of reach; and always being in the presence of others.Some actions may be misinterpreted; but a woman knows when a guy is coming on to her. If ever touched inappropriately, you must pull-away. It lets him know you disapprove. This makes the offender either stop; or have to take a step forward to complete the offense. That will expose his true intentions. Show no intimidation. Just be professional.I don't think things have reached the level you need to bring it to the attention of Human Resources. People can look all they want. They have no right to touch you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 October 2013):
 I hear what you are saying and understand your feelings.
what you do is when he touches you, you back away and say "Please don't touch me it makes me uncomfortable"
you keep the conversations purely work related
he will get the message no matter what he's feeling.
what he feels has no bearing on it... how you respond is the key.
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