A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: hey guys, this isnt the first time ive been here, so i hope to keep gettig good advice so, here 's the problem(im a sophmore now, and this story spans the last two ywars, so sorry for length.)Back when i was in eigth grade, i had asked a girl out, and she had said yes, after much coaxing from both our freinds we were finally together, but her ex got back in the picture, and we broke uo, for various reasons, silly little thigs really, and we stopped talkig really, then we ended up going to the same highschool and we stareted talking again, and i realized that i still liked her, and was starting to consider going after her again.during that time my friend went out with her, but h didint knkw that i liked her, so when they broke up, he found out, he had suspected but wasnt entirely sure, but then over the summer, he liked hr again, his time when they went out, he broke up with her after onky a few days for another girl, who ended up saying no to again. so now i tjink i want to make a move, but i dont want to ruin the friend ship we have, we're now good friends, but sometimes it seems that there might be something more especially when we can just talk, and we do a lot of things together and for each other, nothing sexual, and i honestly am just unsure if asking her out would just make thigs fall apart, but i dont know if i dont ask her out that these what if thoughts will ever leave, thanks for any help you can give, and i apologize for the typos, i typed this in my phone and nothing for the life of me will let me go back and edit
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 October 2013):
In 5 years time, you will most likely not be friends with this girl. Does that change your approach or attitude at all?
I would say that it would be healthiest for you to ask her out and get a 'yes' or 'no' answer, so that you can focus your energy and affection and attraction toward a girl who IS interested in you and IS available, if this friend is not.
In other words, life is short, so is high school, go for it. If she says 'no thank you' then you will be free to move on, which if you really think about it, is a wonderful gift. So many people remain hung up on 'what ifs' because they never had the courage to just face their fears…..
Go for it!
PS I hope she realizes that you are a cool and wonderful guy and says yes. If she says no, well, that doesn't change you in any way, you are still a cool and wonderful guy. Just ask your friends. They know.
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