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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I really dont know how to get through this on my own any more, and none of my family or friends seem to know how to help so if anyone out there can tell me something, anything that will make this hurt a little less it will mean the world to me.my ex and i(of almost two years) broke up almost eight months ago. there were so many issues between us, mainly him not letting me in and shutting me out due to his family pressuring him to break up with me to focus on school. He eventually gave in to them, distanced himself from me to the point where he truly believed he didnt love me anymore. At the time we broke up, the only reason he gave me was that he didnt love me anymore. I found out later that his family had alot to do with the break up and the weird way he was acting. In the past eight months we went back and forth four times.everytime i would cut him out of my life, he would come back to me realizing that he still loved me and wanted to work through it and as soon as we would get back together and things would be better than before, he would freak out and leave again. My mental and emotional health in the past couple months has been a nightmare for my family to deal with. I struggle everyday to get through my day. Ive been seeing a therapist for a while now and nothing seems to help. Ive cut him out of my life once and for all, ive been getting professional help to get my sanity back (alot of drastic changes besides the breakup happened around the same time), trying to keep busy so as not to constantly cry. and all the while i find myself feeling more lost than ever. I still love him, so much it hurts. I know that if he ever came back it would have to be years from now when he's more mature but honestly I dont think he will come back anytime soon and i cant see anything getting resolved. I dont know what to do, he was my first love and i was his. i cant picture myself marrying anyone else but him, and the last time i spoke to him he told me he couldnt picture being married to anyone else either. i know that im still young and i have time to meet better guys, but i know hes not perfect and thats why i love him. i loved him and all his imperfections and i know no one is capable of loving him the way i loved him. i know in my heart that we belong together, and that in time he will see that. that if its meant to be i just have to let it happen the way its supposed to and that right now is not the right time for us to be together if ever again. but that doesnt make it hurt any less. what can i do to get through this, nothing is working. the depression has gotten so bad lately. i feel so hopeless. every step i take i feel like im taking ten steps back. time goes by but i just feel like i keep getting worse. has anyone gone through this and worked things out years later? im holding on to a shred of hope that we will work through this eventually.
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male
reader, xero  +, writes (12 May 2009):
He sounds like a very lucky boy to have u in his life. But I know what u mean with the pain and hurt u feel. The best advice I can give u is not to let go of hope. Where would any of us get without hope?. Also I say this with understanding that everyone has there own beliefs, But I believe that if u really love someone that u hold on to them as long as they haven't done anything unforgiveable. Love is about understanding and sacrifice, and what u been through with a person. But just try to follow your heart.
I also don't think theres anything wrong with u. this is part of what some people go through. I was once told that your first love is the hardest. Things are rough now. But just try to hold on ok? I know its hard but try to do things to get your mind off of your depression. Music sometimes helps. I hope things get better for u. if u need to chat just send a message. Best of luck. And remember not to let go of hope.
A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 Hi Sweetheart
I understand your pain, Sometimes when this type of relationship breakup happens we over analyse every little thing..If only this and if only that...You at this moment need to concentrate on you..Get you well and strong once again and then you will be able to think more positive..It sounds as if you have to much on your mind and you cant deal with it all..
I'm not saying forget about him but just put him to one side for a moment and help you. Carry on seeing a therapist and work it out slowly, Don't put any pressure on yourself to get better quick, Just tell yourself that this will pass and you will be stronger for it love. When we feel depressed its hard to find the strength to tell ourselves we will come through, But I find it works just saying those few words everyday, This will pass!!! If you need a chat message me I've been were you are hunny TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, ms.incredible  +, writes (23 March 2009):
therapy isnt for every one. maybe you should try kickboxing or something.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 March 2009):
You sound like you are having serious mental illness and I think although your ex is the focus of this, he's not the actual problem.
The actual problem could be a physical illness within your mind.
Go and talk to your therapist again and tell him you can't cope.
You may need medication to help you through this.
Good Luck!! xx
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