A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've been with my fiancee for almost 3 years now, and while we have our ups and downs, our sex life has always been rather..boring...I always took it as his being in experinenced and let it go because I'm the first girl he's been with sexually even though we're 26 and 27 years old. That doesn't bother me, it just seems like he thinks of sex as a way to get off and nothing more. I will instigate it, and he'll just jump on me and close his eyes until he releases...I've explained that I think sex should be more than that, and I know he loves me, as he treats me wonderfully outside this. But he won't touch or kiss me or anything, and it bothers me. I have no problem with giving him oral sex, but he won't reciprocate it. I always tried to please him, but it has gotten to the point where I had to tell him that if he won't do it for me, then I won't do it for him. I had hoped this would get him to the point where we could atleast experiment, but he's just said. "fine." and left it at that.Now I feel bad, I mean..I didn't want him to do it because I threatened him, but I am getting tired of not feeling loved physically.What do I do to get him interested in sex beyond the climax?Thanks!
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 October 2006):
 Your his first sexual partner so maybe he doesn't know what to do and is scared he will do it wrong so he is sticking to the things he has sussed out what to do.
Try talking to him and explaining to him how him doing these things will make you feel and that you want to share this with him, try telling him you will guide him through what to do.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2006): Wow. That sucks.
Well, I can tell that you must be very genuine in your love for him, as you've committed yourself to a man has yet to get you off. Three years! Girl, I hope you have a vibrator.
Anyhow, I read this aloud to my boyfriend and even he was baffled. "It doesn't even sound like he's REALLY that into sex!"
What did you do before you had sex? Fool around? Has it ALWAYS been this way of him being really disconnected?
Has he watched porn before? Does he know what's SUPPOSED to happen during sex?
Sex therapists. Even if he refuses to go, I'd see one independently.
If he truly, truly loves you and you truly, truly love him and you decide to stay together, girl - there is NO shame in buying one of those vibrators that go right on your keychain.
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A
male
reader, Jayman +, writes (21 October 2006):
There is ways to drive him crazy without actually having to hit the sheets,have you tried watching sext movies together?The best thing i can remember a girl that would wear somehting sexy ,meet me at the door when i came in ,nibble my neck a little whisper she loves me in my ear,slide her hands down my chest and a little further ,but then walk away.
She would then make me initiate it further if i wanted it,simple things like that work very well, be the tease for a few days ,make him want you.
If i didn't go further ,she would let it be ,then the next day ,she would text or message me ,dirty little stories of how she would want me, she would drive me to the edge without even having to see her.
Just need to experment a little with things ,see what might turn him on or off.
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