A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this male who I am very close with and we are both serious. Im 22 and he is 20. He sees me as his soul mate and we are both in love and he cares for me. We have good communication and I trust him. One day he told me that he wants to be with me but he wants to date other girls for a short time (Im his first real girlfriend). I told him that if he dates other girls im gone lol so he choosed me instead. He keeps on asking me if he could date others . Im not sure what to do i need advice. Yes I can date other men, remember he is only 20 and we both do not want to settle down. All of his siblings got married in their early twenties and got divorced.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): i tink that if he says ur his soul mate then he shudnt wnt ne1 else!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): i've had a similar experience...
my boyf and me were 21 yrs old had been together for 2 years & in love & engaged. i was his first girlfriend. he then started wondering what it was like to go with other girls & started lookig at girls & flirting infront of me! I couldn't hande the thought of him cheating on me, so i ended it with him.
after 5 month's of no contact & secretly missing each other we realised that we weren't happy without each other & got bac together. Now we love each other, but it's a catch 22... we argue about what happened when we weren't togeher & it's upsetting, but i don't think he will stray!!
If he sees you as his sole mate, surely he wouldn't leave you? have a short break & he'll realise what he's missing in his life - you!
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 Try this...you BOTH get to date other people. Even if he stays with you, he is going to RESENT you for making him be Trapped (even though it is his choice).
He might change his tune when he sees you date another guy, and knows what it feels like...then again, maybe you both might like the set up together.
-FBK
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your help me and zack appreciate it thank you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2007): I think you are going to have to suggest a short break, say a couple of months. Do not see each other during that time and make it clear that you intend to date also.
In this situation the only thing you cam do is tell him that he is free to go, in fact you insist on it and that whilst you love him, you can not guarantee how you will feel afterwards.
You won't get anything at all out of hanging on because you can't make him change his mindframe. You just can't make him "see sense", he will have to find it for himself. So many people make that mistake. The more you hang on the more he will want to escape.
Keep to it and see how you feel afterwards. What he asks is understandable but he can't have you at the same time while he is making up his mind or he just won't know how it feels to be without you. This has to be hard. Don't you go feeling sorry and bad about yourself, this is his issue. I hope you find what you want.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 Hi,
Yes I agree, he sounds like he needs to get more experience. But if you are his soul mate, is he prepared for the fact you may meet someone else and fall in love, and he could lose you, while he is getting this experience.
You are young, and as you say, maybe to young to settle quite yet. But I feel if someone is right for you, it doesnt matter how old you are when you meet them.
Just point out, that yes you can break for a time to see how you both feel. But dont let him date behind your back!! can you live not knowing if he is sleeping around. I know I would find this hard to except.
Hope all goes well X
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (23 May 2007):
 It sounds like right now, he wants to get some experience under his belt. For the time being, I would let him go, and when he's ready to commit, let him find you.
DV1
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