A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Helloooo, I came here to seek for some advice.. And I hope nobody judges me about what I'm about to tell you all. I'm turning 17 at the end of this month and well I've had a boyfriend since I was 15. I'm still with this boy and he's been really sweet, loving and he takes care of me very well. He recently moved 6 months ago to study and I am currently living in our home country to study too. He comes back during breaks and holidays to be with his family and to see me. But the problem is, for the past two years my parents never knew about my boyfriend.. But I do have a feeling that they suspect that I do. And once I tried talking to them about this guy and they completely shut me off. So as you can see they are not that acceptive. One of these reasons would be the generation gap.. My parents are born in those olden Chinese ways of thinking that girls are not suppose to have any boyfriends at this age and girls cannot take care of themselves and so on. I know it's wrong that I have been keeping this from them but like I already tried telling them and they shut me off, so I don't know what else to do. Anyways, everytime my boyfriend comes back to visit, I have to sway around the truth and say like I'm hanging out with him and some other friends when in actual fact, it's just the two of us. And well, my parents treated me like a little kid but since I started going to college, they loosen up a little and like let me be independent like walking in a mall on my own.. There's more to this, my boyfriend and I had sex too and well we didn't get caught.. And we are doing protected sex.. And well, sometimes I fear God might punish me for this and like I'm a catholic.. And go to church every Sunday and pray.. There's just this passion and spark between my boyfriend and I, and believe me my boyfriend and I were together for a year before we started doing it, so I know that he loves me for who I am. So sometimes, I do fear of getting caught.. And well now I'm planning to meet my boyfriend this Sunday for a movie date before he goes back to the uk to study.. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2016): Hi OP, I am a Malaysian too. I understand how u feel. Like ellsie96 said, I think you should NOT tell your parents you had sex.I don't think the issue is not that you are a Catholic. The problem is Malaysia is a very conservative country. Here you are considered a bad person if you have pre marital sex. Other Asian countries are more open minded. Such as Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong and China.I wanted to have sex with my first BF, a Malaysian. He actually refused. He is a Buddhist. The first time I had sex was with my Singaporean BF.Now I am studying in Germany. I have a German BF now. I have not told my parents about my German BF. My parents know about all my previous BF except my German BF. I am sure they will be angry if they find out about him because they will know that I am having sex. Some of my friends are already gossiping that I am a s^^t sleeping around with white guys.Maybe you can still tell your parents about your BF. Since he is also a Malaysian. Most Malaysians don't practise premarital sex. So maybe your parents will not suspect you are sleeping with him:-)I think cannot hide my secret anymore.
A
female
reader, ellsie96  +, writes (1 January 2016):
 You should tell your parents, but maybe don't tell them everything.
Definitely don't tell them you have had sex with your boyfriend, and don't tell them you've been hiding this from them for so long.
Maybe say it's been going on for a couple of months and now that the relationship is legitimate and he's asked you to be his GF or something, you wanted to tell them.
If you tell them you've been hiding it from them for a long time, they'll be really hurt and probably lash out, maybe stop you from seeing your boyfriend or something out of anger. So definitely don't do that.
I'm sure your parents will understand to some extent that you are going to start seeing boys, and if they don't get that then it shouldn't stop you from living your life and being with someone that you love.
As for the whole sex thing - don't worry about it! I'm a Catholic too and I know some people will disagree with me but I believe the churches teaching on sex before marriage is very outdated.
Our God is all good, all loving, and having sex with someone you've been with for so long, and someone that you're in love with, I do not think he would view as a sin, despite what the Bible teaches.
I know many more orthodox Catholic's will not agree with me, but that's just my opinion and nobody can stop me from voicing my views.
If you're comfortable having sex with your boyfriend, then that's up to you.
Likewise, it's also perfectly fine for someone to not want to engage in sex until after marriage.
It's your own choice and you shouldn't worry about what anyone else will think.
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