A
female
age
30-35,
*eacelovecandy
writes:Well, I've only been dating this guy for less than a month (today would have been a month, sigh) and we're still teenagers. He's three years older than I am. Well, the age didn't affect us at all, we were the perfect little teenage couple everyone loved to see walking around town holding hands and telling eachother how much we mean to eachother. He understood that my life isn't perfect and he MADE my life perfect. He took me places, did fun stuff with me, and I'd go over his house a couple times a week. We would go swimming, sit and watch movies, sometimes even just sleep, and I'd have the best time ever with him! Well, he has a best friend. It's a girl. It's his ex-girlfriend. So I wasn't really too happy with it so I called her a bad name (in my AIM status, I didn't even think he would see it) so he simply didn't talk to me for the day. Somehow, we got into a small argument about it, and it escalated. It didn't get into a big fight (generally couples fight, and we're still teens!) but he broke up with me.I begged and begged and begged all day and night for him to please try again with me and he said he just simply couldn't, he didn't feel the same. I don't understand this at all. My mom heard me screaming and crying upstairs in my room, but she came up when she heard me beating up the wall. When she came up she just asked me through my door what was wrong and I said nothing but she could tell I was crying so she opened my door and came in and she just hugged me and rubbed my back and told me it'd be okay, I'm still a teen and I'll get a new boyfriend once school starts.I felt so content when my mom was comforting me and I just wanted her to stay with me and talk to me. I stopped crying (which I haven't been able to in DAYS) when I was with her but she told me she had to vaccuum and I could have the cat in my room if I wanted (I don't even like cats). She gave me a roll of toilet paper and I sat on my bed bawling my eyes out. It's been a couple of days and I haven't eaten and I've barely slept. I threw up a couple of times because thinking about the fun times I had with him makes my stomach go on crazy roller coasters. My mom told me I need to get hobbies to get my mind off of him. I broke my cellphone charger so it's always dead and I don't know how else to ask my friends if they want to do something. This kid I used to like likes me, and he talks on the phone with me to cheer my depressed self up but I realize halfway through a conversation nothing will make me happy.I love my ex-boyfriend and I need to get over him. At least that's what my brain says. My heart tells me I need him... I know, this is a typical teenage break-up story. I'm not looking for attention; I'm looking for comfort and for something to do to either get my mind off of him or slowly get over him. I can't ever go back to my old town, he lives near it and he's always there. If I went I'd surely see him walking with girls... it makes me so upset. He is the sweetest guy ever but I'm thinking he really did leave me for someone else as much as he denies it and cries over it.Please, someone, I beg, help me through this... I need to get through it or else I'll start school miserable and upset (I get upset when I think about starting school because he always told me about how when he got his job at Rite-Aid [he applied when he was with me...] he would come pick me up from school and take me places), and that's not good at all. This is eating at me so bad and I'm just a miserable girl right now. I can't stand thinking about him but he's all I think about. It hurts me so bad, so bad! I try to think that I can find a better guy, but I don't think I ever will. I will just have to hope, but when I say that word... "hope", I just shake my head. Ever since we got into an argument I hoped he wouldn't break up with me and he told me he never would. Every time I bring that up he cries. I just break down harder, because I know he isn't crying for me. He's crying because he feels bad. He feels bad for himself.There are lots of guys that like me and have asked me out but I just can't do it... I wish I could get over this guy... it's so hard. He meant everything to me, he made my life perfect and he turned my frowns upside down WHENEVER! Now he just turns my straight, expressionless lips into a huge frown 24/7. I tried to tell him how much he meant to me and he just ignores me. I send him voicemails crying my eyes out telling him how much I need my amazing boyfriend back in my life, he just shuts his phone off...Please, help me someone... I beg of you guys. I need help fast. I can't stop crying. I need help.
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best friend, broke up, depressed, ex girlfriend, heartbroken, his ex, my ex, unloved Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lah mouw +, writes (18 August 2009):
 I don't mean to be harsh but, you're telling yourself a whole lot of stories here, which is the sole purpose of your suffering. Our minds like to work against us at times, you see, and you're allowing that part get to the best of you. All these horrible stories, that you'll never find another guy, that he's the only one for you, you can't eat/sleep without him. It's all just stories you're letting yourself believe! Like you've said, you're only a teenager! So, you have plenty of time to find the right guy(s). Instead of making yourself suffer and being weary from no food or rest over this one boy, you should just try and move on. I'm not saying it will be easy at first but if you keep at it. Keep yourself busy with fun stuff and friends. In time you'll start to feel better! Just remember that that is all he is: just one boy... One boy out of your ENTIRE life. Please eat! Please get rest! That WILL help you feel better too!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): He was very insensitive to your feelings when you discovered what you did and got angry with you, when you did nothing wrong. He has issues. He broke up with his ex. If he has issues and a break up occured, probably another one will. You will find better because at the moment he is a loser. It's time to call him all names under the sun. And if he comes back because it wont work with her again, you are not taking someone back who blames others for nothing they have done wrong when you were emotionally upset of a situation. What a creep! You are not only getting over him. He abused you.
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