A
female
age
41-50,
*nDoubt2007
writes:I was going around with a guy in college for around 6 years. But when the time of marriage came he said he is not prepared for marriage yet and even he cant talk to his parents regarding that. I continously pushed him for for 1.5 years and then as my parents were forcing me i got engaged to a very caring guy who knows about my past and accepted it. Now after my engagement this guy came back to my life told his parents and now he wants me back. I dont know what to do, whom to choose.Yes i loved him a lot and he equally loved me a lot. Still he loves me a lot. But i cant do wrong with me fiance even. Dont know what to do, its not easy to forget your first love that too a relation of 6 years.!!Please help me!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Evidently your parents only care about you getting married soon, not your well being. I don't know why but it seems to be something that has to do with your cultural beliefs because the people form your country who post questions about marriage here always talk about how they told their parents before they got engaged. We don't use that in America. Anyway you should do what makes you feel happy and forget about the other people. If you are still confused is because you care a lot about what other people think and that can't be aliviated with words but with your willingness to change. Now I tell you is normal to feel confused with a thing like the one you are living right now. It doesn't matter the decision you make you'll feel confused. Go with what you know better. Go with your ex I think you'll feel better with him. You know him enough.
A
female
reader, InDoubt2007 +, writes (23 October 2007):
InDoubt2007 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks but i m still very confused.
I talked to my parents about my relation with fiance that i m being little apprehensive about me getting married to him.
They said that it happens with any arrange marriage and i will be happy.
Do you thin everybody got scared before getting married.
People say that this is supposed to be a goldern peiod (after engagement and b4 marriaage) i dont fel so :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): I have to say im afraid only your heart can tell you which one you should be with, who do you love? its no good marrying a man when you cant give him your whole heart because you love another!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): You need time to think about this. You can't get married to a guy when you are thinking of another one. That's like infidelity and you'll never be happy. I know it's not very fair to your fiance but it's better for him if you are sure of the decision you are making. If you marry him then it might not be fair for you. While you are still single is your responsability to look for your own happiness and not your parents or your fiance's happiness.
Can't you go somewhere where you can be alone for a while and think about this? Maybe a relative's house? Don't tell no one if you know they are not going to support you. Just tell them you need to relax for a little while.
Think about it and let your heart make the decision.
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