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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex and I recently broke up. I was heartbroken and wanted him back bad. He told me he cares about me but just cant be in a relationship right now. He said he wants me in his life and wants me to be a close friend. So, i tried to do as he wants. I mean somthing is better than nothing. Well, last night i asked if we could hang out and watch a movie or somthing. When i got to his house we watched TV. After about 30mins he asked me if i wanted to lay down on the couch with him. I was hesitant but, i did it anyways. He told me he knows were not dating anymore but the sex was really good and smiled at me. I didnt know what to do. We ended up leaving and going over a friends house. When we got back to his house to get my car I asked if i could use the bathroom ( we all had been drinking. Only two beers ) He asked me to lay down in his bed with him. So, i did. He put his arm around me like he use to. He started to kiss me. I asked him if he had to much to drink and he assured me he hadn't. We ended up having sex. I fell asleep afterwards. I woke up at 3:30am and went to go home. He told me to lay back down. He held me like he use to. When we woke up in the morrning we had sex again. We eneded up having sex again one more time before i left. On the way out the door he gave me a hug and said he had a good time last night. He asked if i wanted him to give me a call later. I said yea and left. Does he want me back? Does he just want me for sex? What is going on? Help me!
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female
reader, missbriteyes  +, writes (20 September 2010):
Honey I'm sorry to tell you but its just sex. You are going about this thing the wrong way. You just got out of a relationship that he mustve not valued to much or he would've not only stayed in it but he would've fought to keep it. Now that he's out the relationship the only way to allow him to miss and therefore appreciate you and the relationship is to stop giving him the things he had IN the relationship! Don't be his friend, don't give him sex. Let him miss your company, let him have to start having to do things for himself that you used to and definitely let him miss your sex. Make it clear that the only way to get these things is to be in a relationship with you and that you don't give all yourself to a man that is not willing to commit to you. Trust me absence makes the heart grow fonder and if you were a catch and he just stopped noticing with the tikme that went by, then this method will definitely work. Men won't buy the cow when they know they can get it for free.
Personally I think sex with an ex if both understand an agree upon the outcome afterwards. If both parties know its just sex then by all means go ahead. You shouldn't be having sex with a man that doesn't want you completely unless you feel the same towards him. Your emotions aren't right, you just got out of a relationship. Best thing to do now is put distance inbetween you and him, keep yourself busy, keep company round you and possibly get ready to go on some dates.
I know this because I went through a similar situation. I broke up with my bf hoping for him to change and fight for me back and he didn't and said what's the point. I cried endlessly. Went out with my girls and they told me to start enjoying the single life, and I did. Got away from him, gained bundles of confidence and after a couple of weeks I was happy to be single! But quickly he saw me and decided he missed me and wanted me back, he remembered the good times and started appreciating the things I do for him. And we had sex. - for ME that's all it was very good hot sex, I enjoyed the sex but it was not ,for me a new beginning. I had started to enjoy the single life, I was more confident than I ever was and my social life was booming. So to me its too little too late. But I still value his friendship and the sex lol, so if he stopped that I would probably think seriously about coming back. Whichhhh is why I know both sides to be true.
Good luck, promise you this works. With this you'll either get over him, or get your man back. For me though I did both lol, I let him go, then he wantd me back
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): hey i know how you feel im going through the same thing at the moment, i recently told the guy i had fallen for him again and i thought i was pregnant he wasnt happy and said thats the final nail in our coffin so i have to go it alone now it will be hard with out him in my life but i will cope, leave the phone off and leave it at home when go out safe temptation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): My ex-gf is doing the same thing to do - just leave her - i know it's hard
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 August 2006):
 I'm afraid he's just not into commitment. Sounds like he enjoys playing the field. If you want total commitment then you're going to be facing disappointment big time with this guy. Probably best to find someone else. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): If you want to see if he is really interested in getting back together ,(which is probably a long shot), try playing hard to get for a while. I know you want to be his friend still, but make him aware that you have your own life and don't need him every minute. Make it clear that you do not intend to become a friend with a benefits package. You deserve more respect. I went through the same thing very recently, and my ex thought it would be fine, but the confusion is even harder than it was dealing with the break-up. I thought I would go out of my mind, so I made it clear that either we were together or we were just friends, nothing in-between, and we are just friends now. I with it would have worked out the other way, but at least this way the lines and boundries are clear and easy for both of us to follow.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 Have nothing more to do with him, especially not sex. It sounds like he's feeding you a pack of lies. You are doing yourself no good at all, your self esteem will end up in the trash if you don't get over him and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was at the mall tonight when he finally called me back. He said he was hanging out with some friends. One of them a girl i have always thought he was cheating on me with. Well on my way to my car i relised his car was two cars down. Where was he? So, i sat in my car and waited. While sitting there i relised he must be at the movies. he said he wanted to go see a movie. Then i saw it! He got in the car with that girl. JUST THAT GIRL, no one else! I flipped out. I started to cry. He told me this girl was just a friend and they have known each other for years. He acually said his best friend likes her and he would never hook up with her. Why were they alone? I had to know so, instead of getting out of the car i drove away. I called him once i was out of sight...No answer. Called again. No answer, two times and no answer. Finally i tried one last time. He picked up. I was calm and told him i saw them. All he said was "yea?" Like no big thing. He laughed at me and told me to calm down. He said i had nothing to worrie about. He said the other kid that was suppose to go with them bailed on them at the last minute. He said they were on there way to meet his other friend and he was sorry and would call me later on. I told him he hurt me and he said sorry again and that i didnt need to worrie about this. He said good night and i said nothing and hung up on him. I was hurt. I called him back and said sorry he just hurt me alot. He said sorry again and told me that he was probaly going to be out late and would call me later( this time he had additude ). This time he said GOODBYE! and hung up...I cant take this crap! I love him and i dont know what to do? I asked him how come he didnt ask me to a movie and he said " didnt we hang out last night? " Im so confussed. Hes going to a party with this girl and the guys tomorrow night. Umm hello! Didnt you hang out with her tonight? Im so mad! Please help me. What should i do?....
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female
reader, caraduddy  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 I think you should talk to him and ask him whats going on ask him if he wants to get back together. Its not fair on you if he is taking advantage and just wants the sex have a chat with him and decide on something.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (15 August 2006):
 I agree with the ladies on this one. You are no more than sex to him. Think about it. He has his cake and eating it too. He can go out with anyone he wants and still have you around for whatever. What guy doesn't want that? No one will buy the cow when they're getting the milk for free. Make a break. If you don't you will be more hurt than ever being used like this. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): This guy is getting a buzz out of you chasing him. He suggested you call him, why couldn't he call you? If you are having sex, it gives you the right to know where you stand in the relationship. You can make a decision based on his response, but remember you WILL get over him if you choose to leave. TAKE CONTROL GIRL!
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A
female
reader, GM +, writes (15 August 2006):
He is just using you, make a break, close the door and you will find another open around the corner. You are worth more than just being a sex partner. It will never be more. Good Luck GM
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