A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal to have some second thoughts while planning a wedding? I am smitten with my girl, and have been in love for almost a year now. We have talked about marriage openly and longingly, but now that we are actually planning it, I find myself looking at some of the negatives, namely the fact I have some mild trust issues with her and I'm not completely over my ex. I also feel we are a tad incompatible sexually, although she is extatic with the sex. The good far outweighs the bad, so is it OK that I am having jitters, or is this a sign I'm not ready?
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 Oh ya, pre-wedding jitters are normal. I remember standing in front of the mailbox with all the invitations in my hand thinking "this is your *last* chance, buddy." Sometimes you just have to take the plunge. :)
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 You didn't mention how long you have been together.
In my view you shouldn't be planning weddings until at least a year or so together.
It should feel like a natural progression in the relationship/between you, rather than something to worry about.
You should love the other person in a way you have not loved previous exes.
There are always negatives, but in the real world as long as the positives outway and there are no serious problems.
What's this trust issue? Is that a problem within yourself or has she given you reason to lack trust?
Believe me you need a hell of a lot of trust to get on in married life. Or else little things can blow up.
I am not sure how long after being with your ex you got together. I am hoping that it was perhaps a year later as we all need time.
It's only natural to make comparisons though. Perhaps the perfect sexual partner would be a combination of anybody you have been with before.
The only time I had pre-wedding jitters was: A few days before. I had been to the beauty salon for a facial and the beauty therapist asked me if I was nervous. I hadn't thought about it in that way, so I left the appointment feeling nervous as I walked down the road.
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