A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey dudes/dudettesthis week has been a rollercoaster week for me...i was diagnosed with depression at the begining of the week, i was also given pills to help stop anxiety and worrying all the time, ive had blood tests and im gna be going in for sum head scan soon,i was practically dragged to the docs cuz i hate going to the docs, but yer..if i be honest, i think i know one of the main causes for my bad health right now...my cousin told me that if i was to carry on stressing over 'him' i would to my self damage. i did not lisen to her, im constantly thinking of my best friend...he's been in my life for about good 6/7 years now, to begin with, he was my boyfs childhood mate, but he later began to tell me his relationship/family troubles. i have so much in common with him, i always wish him the best. i care for him like my family, but he is more than a friend...if that makes sense.when i met him, apperntly he liked me..i liked him..nothing happend...he kissed my close mate..i let by gones be by gones..and we built a good friendship..i was glad nothing happend, infact im my boyf (his mate)..and i am happy...but this best mate of mine...he has two sides..a side which is caring and a side which is 'im the man'The caring side laughs and jokes and cares..but when his ego kicks in...he doesnt seem to acknowledge me...i have never askd to kno any of his personal details..but nowadays...he ignores me..shuts me out...barley speaks to me if were in a room full of people together...i catch a glimpse of his eyes looking..but he will act relaly cocky and laugh with his new found mates...it hurts me...i care for him loads...there was a time when he told me he had something to tell me,but he couldnt and he was going to wait...this was about 2 years ago...since then we havnt mentioned it..and i wont at the risk of our friendship..what bothers me alot is..truly..i could not have had him as a boyf, he most definatly isnt my family...but why now..am i loosing him as a friend...?what shal i dooo people...i feel daft...speaking to him is hard...i try to shut him out...but i see him at partys, uni, hes just there... sorry if this is long :(xx kassie
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female
reader, melmel  +, writes (25 March 2008):
Hi, I;m really sorry about your depression and hope that it all works out, i just wanted to quickly say that in my experience with my current friend/lover/what ever we are whenever he feels himself getting to close he shuts me out, wont talk to me, pretends im not there etc and i feel that this may be the same case with you :) I think he does care its just that boys sometimes have a bad way of showing it... try talking on msn, that works for me :) or try and get him alone.. anyways hope this helps and all the best :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): Hi KassieOh hunny you must take a deep breath and think of yourself now hunny, Its ok to think of others but when it starts to make you ill its not a good thing its more of a negative thinking...I no your upset and really sad hunny and I no how much you care about this person, I had a friend like this so nice and caring then all of a sudden he started acting strange and big n hard infront of people and he wasnt the same anymore, On his own he was quite different but as soon as his new friends came round he could be a bloody arse**** and even though I was relly good friends with him I had to think of myself and what the hell I was doing trying to help him and he was behaving like the biggest dick going so I walked away...He phoned I talked he wanted to no why he hadnt seen me I told him...He hasnt changed the tough guy....Its a shame when you no someone so well and life takes them in a different direction, But you have to let him go down the path he is going so he can learn, learn from his own mistakes hunny...You are ill on medication at this moment and you need to concentrate on getting you well, Im going to send you some links on depression and self esteem as it can take a nose dive when you feel so bad and you will then have some self help inbetween these doctors that you hate going to hunny...http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/faq/self_help.htmhttp://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.htmlYou have a read of these hunny when ever you need a lift it will help get your confidence back in you and make you stronger to face anything life may throw at you..Think about you..Yes you see him when you go out still think about you, Try not to take much notice of what he is up to let him get on with his life sweetheart, You were there a good friend he is the one who needs to prove this friendship not you so TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!Message me if you need a chat Ive suffered with depression before hunny YOU LOOK AFTER YOU WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE AND SQUISHY HUGS DUDETTE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (25 March 2008):
 KassieThe best way to handle this is to ignore him as that will probably bug him even more.Right now you need to heal yourself and not worry yourself about him, you are the important one here and yes your depression could well be down to stress of life in general and by the way this guy has been treating you.Don't be the victim in all of this, stand strong and take the tablets right now and you will get through it, believe me.If if is that stupid to push you aside like an old sock then that's his own stupid fault but if you are going to come across him at party's, then be happy with your friends and just ignore him or if this is to hard then don't go. We all have choices in life and if he wants to act all macho at party's and vunerable at others time then let him but you don't have to sit by and be treated like dirt. You are worth much more than that as you wouldn't treat a dog the way he has treated you. Don't be a victim any more, get on with your life and have fun with your bf and friends, he will be the one who misses out and if common sense prevails then may be by not reacting to his behaviour may make him see what a moron he is being as I think he just needs to grow up a bit more.Every one has things they have to deal with in life but it is how we deal with them and how we treat our friends which make us into the people we are.Stay strong and don't let him win by letting him see that he is getting to you, hold your head up strong or just remove yourself from the situation. If he has the courage to come and talk to you then tell him that he is being a moron and that you are not prepared to talk with him until he treats you with the respect you deserve as you thought you was his friend. Keep smiling eh!BFNCountry Womanx
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