A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I keep having flashbacks of bad and stupid things i've done in my life and i have constant anxiety about everything. These spells can last for days in extreme cases and can really depress me or they just niggle at the back of my mind. Sometimes i'll remember something i haven't thought about in ages and i freak out internally and can't get over it.Some of these things include:1) getting drunk and naked in public and now everyone passes photos around (this happened 5 years ago but still they are everywhere)2) while travelling 6 years ago i got drunk or was drugged (this is what i tell people and have almost convinced myself) while in asia and got myself in a compromising position with a prostitute (not sex - i stopped everything before it got to that) in an alley with my pants down and my passport and wallet with everything got stolen (this one i'm particularly upset about as i am not like this at all and would never normally dream of doing anything like this- i haven't even really had any experience of this in a normal relationship so it really upsets me and i am disgusted with myself) i have lied to everyone since though telling them all i was drugged and it was stolen.3) i made myself look socially unacceptable not through extroversion but through lack of confidence and lack of care about my appearance and self worth - people now laugh at what i used to look like and my current girlfriend doesn't even want to see what i used to look like as i had hair down to my waist and it disgusts her to think about it as she is a very mainstream person.4) i have wasted so much of my life worrying about everything and not moving on. I'm mid twenties and already feel i've wasted my life and that there is nothing more. I look back and can see myself spiralling down from about 15 and each step i took i became less confident, more socially outrageous and more disjointed from reality and society.PLease answer the following questions:Am i a bad person? - was a wrong for all these things (especially 2) and what can i do to ammend - how can i get over these things and forgive myself in some scenarios and learn to live with the others?I feel i am a good person at heart but that i have done bad things and i could break down and cry when i think of my past,Please help,Many thanks
View related questions:
confidence, drunk, prostitute Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): Your actions havent harmed anyone have they?If not they i wouldnt fret..... it is hard to forget about somethings but if they havent impacted on yours or anyone elses life then id try not to think about things.Everyone (yes very unlikely to be an exclusion) has done things they arent proud of, and probably havent admitted to it. yours just happen to be made more aware of so you arent being judged too heavily im sure!But it is sad that your girlfriend wont look at you how you were, hopefuly she isnt just shallow, as "mainstream" isnt an excuse, but if its good times now why look back on the worse times i spose she doesnt want to spoil that.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (25 June 2009):
 I don't think the mistakes you listed make you a bad person at all. Everybody does stupid things...if I would list all the dumb things I've done we'd be here all night! LOL! But I do think that you are being very harsh on yourself. Plenty of people dress oddly, especially when their self confidence is low. Plenty of people do stupid drunken things they regret. I think it's time to find a good therapist and try to raise your self-esteem a bit so you can stop beating yourself up and move on with your life. Once you learn to accept yourself you can then start to become the person you've always wanted to be.
Good luck.
...............................
|
