A
male
age
51-59,
*enerous-G
writes:I feel as though my fiancée is not in love with me anymore because our whole relationship has changed. We use to make love with no problem but now it seems like a complete drain for her. I do everything for her with all my love in heart but I am having terrible doubts now! What do you think?
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male
reader, wherelifewouldtakeus  +, writes (23 September 2016):
 Usually when something becomes a chore is because you don't enjoy doing it, so the question is, why isn't she enjoying sex or not as much as she use to.
either way this is not a sign of love, if this is the only change there is in your relationship it is a bit of an overreaction to say your fiance the woman that agreed to marry you no longer feels love for you.
have you express your feelings to her? at this point you are unsatisfied and feeling unwanted, you guys need to have an honest conversation. It could very well be a medical reasons, but often times what drives a sex life stale is got a lot more to do with the boredom and lack of spontaneity.
A
male
reader, Generous-G +, writes (22 September 2016):
Generous-G is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for your thoughts and cares on my problem. It truly means a lot to me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2016): First-off, make sure she isn't feeling uncertain about your engagement. Maybe she's having second-thoughts?
We are receiving a lot of posts regarding the lack of sex in relationships. It's just a fact of life that people may have unequal sex-drives; or sex becomes so predictable and routine, it's boring.
When you're getting older, hormone levels drop. Menopausal women experience vaginal dryness; and some think it's ridiculous for mature people to have sex.
Nowadays people are working two or more jobs to make ends meet; and they are just plain tired, and just want to sleep. She may be pushing herself preparing for the wedding.
You also have to be careful about what you say and do to people who are very sensitive. They often will hide their feelings, or passive-aggressively withhold affection in protest. Rather than speak-up like an intelligent mature adult. They dance around the subject, or avoid talking about it altogether.
Personally, if a partner can't talk to me; I have no more time or love to offer them. They've got to go. I've reached that point in wisdom and maturity to know that most problems are solved through communication and mutual cooperation. All it takes is honesty, love, and common-sense. A relationship will not survive without compromise and consideration for the feelings and needs of your partner. Just saying you love them is not enough.
Life is too freaking short to waste time on idiots who internalize every freaking thing; or make no effort to try and fix things to re-energize or save the relationship. Frankly speaking, they should be replaced with sensible adults willing and able to work at a healthy and thriving relationship. In spite of the normal ups and downs.
When people become indifferent or unenthusiastic about having sex, most often a visit to the doctor may explain any physiological reasons. Unfortunately, a lot of people are just bored having sex with the same partner. It's hard to tell someone who adores you, they're boring in bed; or, it's over before the female partner reaches her orgasm. They will get frustrated and just quit.
Women in particular may become ashamed of their bodies as they are changed by age. They find it difficult to believe their male partners can still desire them sexually; or they just feel ugly according to their own self-assessment. It is difficult to change their body-image issues; no matter how much you try to reassure them that it doesn't matter. The media and beauty industry tells them they have to be slim, have perky breasts, no sags, wrinkles,or ripples; and toned bodies until the day they die. These ads saturate TV, magazines, and the internet.
Gently coax her to talk about it. She may only be tired or have something on her mind she hasn't shared with you. Maybe you have been trying too hard to be good to her, and she may be feeling guilty about it. If her self-esteem is low, she may feel unworthy. Communicate. If she can't talk about things, postpone the wedding plans. That's a deal-breaker.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 September 2016):
 You say your whole relationship has changed? Can you specify more? If her sex life has changed then maybe she needs to go to a doctor. Looking at your age bracket your wife may be going through menopause, with that the libido does sometimes disappear.
It could also be that she is stressed in other areas off her life, have you spoke to her about this and told her your concerns? Have you asked her is she okay and what has changed? Communication is the big thing here.
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