A
female
age
36-40,
*ire
writes:*OP's Original Title*I am having an affair with a man that's 3 times my age. I am 23 years old and have been married for 2 years, and he is 53 and has been married for 13 years. He actually went to school with my parents. I had sex with him the first night that I met him, and it was amazing! The bad and good thing about this affair is the fact that it is a long distance relationship. I live in SC and he lives in MD. My husband found out about the affair one day while checking our phone bill and checking my email, so I had to admit everything to him. We worked it out and I told him that the affair was over, But it's not!!! I bought a prepaid phone and I talk to him everyday at work and sometimes at night. We are planning to meet again really soon so we can have sex again. This man is amazing! I have never met anyone quite like him! When we made love, a feeling came over me that I never felt before. I am not planning to leave my husband and this man is not planning on leaving his wife, and I am left wondering WHAT'S THE POINT? What do we plan to accomplish by getting so emotionally involved? The first night that I met him I thought it was going to be a one night stand and not a long affair. It has now been 3 months and I haven't seen him since the first night. Where do you think this affair can go from here????
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affair, at work, long distance, one night stand Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): so what do you want us to tell you: to go ahead and F@ck this old man?? you are doing this already so what now?? WHAT IS YOUR POINT?? if you want us to tell you my child you are forgiven for adultery then you have come to the wrong place: confession is next door!
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (24 June 2010):
 So...what are you looking for here? You know you're cheating, and worse, lying to your husband. You know this older guy (we'll call him Mr. 3 times, though he's not 3 times your age) will not marry you. You know you risk getting caught, in which case your husband will surely kick you out of his house.
What do you expect us to tell you? You're on a path that leads to a lot of misery for more people than just you. I don't see any scenario in which your 'affair' can end well.
If you have any concern for your own and your husband's future, stop this now. If not, what the hell, even prepaid phones have to be paid for. He'll find the money trail eventually and it's not likely you'll get anything out of the divorce.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010): I agree with CaringGuy.
Why did you get married in the first place?
You seem to be only driven by lust not love. Did you ever love your husband? Did you rush to marry?
Even just thinking about this other person is cheating. I think you need to realise that what you have done has caused irreversible damage to yourself, your husband and your marriage.
Ten years from now, you will carry a bad reputation and will end up childless, husbandless and ultimately with some ugly STD's... Take a good look at yourself in the mirror.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 June 2010):
What a total lie and a waste of time. This man is married and is using you for sex. Meanwhile you've lied to your husband and you've started your affair again? Why? For what? Why are you married? Why are you having an affair? Why are you destroying your marriage? This older man is getting a kick out of using you and laughing while he's doing it. You need to get right back to basics, stop the affair, divorce your husband and stay single. You should never have married. There's one thing for sure, and that is that if you're found out again you'll have nothing. Your husband, who has graciously forgiven you once will leave, and your lover offers you no chance of anything such as kids or a home.There's no point in this at all. You'll lose everything and be left scrabbling around for what's left. I I'm afraid I don't understand why you're lying to your husband and why you're hurting him for no reason other than a fling with an older married man who's using you. You're just going to lose everything and be a laughing stock with a very bad reputation. It's well known that women come off worse after affairs than men. It's not just your marriage that can be affected, it's your life. No one will trust you, and you stand to lose everything. You need to either end the affair now and work on your marriage double quick, or you need to have the grace to let your husband find someone who will love him.
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