A
female
age
36-40,
*ammyrichards
writes:I am 20 years old and booked in for an abortion in a week.....i have an amazing life and would never be able to do what i want if i had a child, although it is making me feel really sad, i feel really close to my unborn child of 7 weeks. the father wants nothing to do with neither me or the baby and im so upset as i love him so much. hes ten years older yet been so childish i dont know what to do. i feel sorry for my unborn child but i know i have to have an abortion.
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female
reader, karen101 +, writes (8 August 2007):
did you have the abortion?
sorry that i didnt see your post until now, ive had an abortion in the past, if you need to chat just let me know
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): Sweet girl,
I am so sorry to hear about you situation. I know what you are going through to a tee. When I was 20 I became pregnate with my first son. His father didn't want him nor me and pressured me to have an abortion. At that point I knew that I was ready to have a child and did on my own. If you choose to do the same it is your decision but if you choose to abort that too is your choice. You see six years after the birth of my first son my new husband and I had another little boy. And now my youngest is only 5 months old and I am pregnate again. It was an oops moment on both of our parts. But now we had to choose what to do. Have the baby and put our family in finacial strain by adding a new member. Or abort the pregancy to keep the family finacially secure. I, along with my husband, decided that right now isn't the time to have another baby. Heck, I just got done being pregnate I don't want to do it again. So in about a week I will be having an abortion.
Women need to understand that abortions are not meant to be a form of birth control. It is meant to be a choice that a woman can make on her own behalf. But every woman who is thinking about an abortion need also to consider all the other options so that she can make an informed desision.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): I had an abortion when I was 17 and have live to regret it ever since. I am so sorry you feel like this, but don't it just because your boyfriend does'nt want it. there is so much help out there more than you probably relise. but if you feel this is the only thing you can do, then just remember you will go on to have more children, I now have 4. Just remember you are the only person who has to deal with no matter what you do. Do what is best for you not just for now but for always. good luck I wish you all the best
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): I am so sorry to read some of the answers to this post. I am a single mother of two daughter 24 & 17 now, and I also had a termination thats what i call it. When i fell pregnant at 17 split with the guy before i knew i was pregnant my parents said they would stand by me whatever i decieded i thought about it and being so young i though having an abortion was soo wrong and I couldn't live with it so i had my girl.Two yrs later another guy I fell pregnant agin i was on the pill as I didn't want another child I knew straight away I was going to have a termination which I did now this may sound selfish and many might not agree but woman NEED to make this decision for themselves as at the end of the day they will be the ones that have the babys and commit the rest of their lives to this child not the boyfriend, so if you feel too young or you couldn't cope with it does not make you a bad person it actually means you have done the mature thing and thought things through. Yes I was and still am sad sometimes and think about what might have been but I do not regret having a termination as at the time I was not ready for another child.Years later i decieded I wanted another child as I was with a partner for 7 yrs I wanted a child and I had my other daughter. I feel sorry for woman that like the post below her husband didn't want children or like other post that think they didn't have a choice everyone has a choice no one can make you do anything that is why termination a optional. Ialso think that if you have it done within the first 12 weeks as you should have made your own mind up by then not waiting for someone else to tell you or pressure you the hospitals are very sympathetic and helpful which makes recovery much easier.I do not think terminations should be used as birth control and my heart goes out to couples that long for a baby only to discover the baby has abnormalities and probably would not survive now does that make that person bad for having a termination of course not and folk that think it does you have not waljed in their shoes so you should not judge. i hope this helps you dear to make your mind up and make the right choice for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): I want to tell you from my personal experience ... it is a feeling you will never get over. My husband didn't want any children at all and I agreed but, when I got pregnant it was a whole new ball game. I was using birth-control and it just happened and I kinda thought that was a sign. He made me so miserable that at 5months pregnant I went to have an abortion. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life and I would never advise anyone else to do it. Right now that child that I aborted would have been about 6 weeks old. I regret that decison everyday. My only comfort is that I did what I thought was best for myself and to save my marriage.I prayed to God for forgiveness. Do what is best for you, because at the end of the day you have to feed, clothe, pamper, bathe, protect, and love that baby. If you are truly not ready do whats best for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good Luck. Please update us with your decision.
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female
reader, Just a Girl... +, writes (27 July 2007):
 If already you feel close to this baby then huni y can u see no other option other than an abortion, a baby wud be be a massive change, yes. But change cna somtimes be beautiful you knw. If you feel your only option is to have this abortion huni then you need to try to detac your emotions from the baby. xxxx Good luck huni xxx
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A
male
reader, PhilManco  +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Just my two cents: Several years before she met me, my girlfriend (now 27) had an abortion (the result of a one-night-stand). She revealed this to me after we, ourselves, had a pregnancy scare after about a month and a half of dating. (she wasn't pregnant, by the way)
Honestly, I have a hard time thinking about it sometimes. It certainly has little to do with me and I'm in no position to make my g/f feel bad about something she felt she had to do. Certainly, if my g/f had a five year old child when I met her, I would not have dated her. If she hadn't had her abortion, then, we never would've fallen in love years later.
Still, it's hard to imagine that the potential future mother of your children had an abortion when she was 21.
This is selfish, but it's also hard to realize that, if we do stay together and decide to have children, there will definitely be a small black cloud hanging over the pregnancy (and the thought of what might have become of that first child).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): I'm 35. Tomorrow, my girlfriend will be scheduled for an abortion. Our relationship is strained, but I'm accompanying her to any appointments where she wants me. I'm doing my best to be there for her
Your boyfriend seems very selfish. I think you should dump him.
Talk to friends. Find a peer support group at a feminist women's centre. You will get over him and you will get over having an abortion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): i had an abortion at 19. I was upset but the counciling i received in the following weeks from the hospital was great. im now 26 years old expecting my first baby in a few weeks. never regreted what i did, would do it again if we went back in time. do whats right for you, ask for counciling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): When I was very young I had an abortion and I have had a very tough time since because of it. When my lovely son was later born I was devastated because I could see his face, hold him and smell him. I grieved then in stead of celebrating my newly born son. I realised that the baby I started and gave up on was once real and that I would never know him or her. A life started and not fulfilled, for no reason other than my convenience. That baby became as real as the one I was holding. It stopped being a clump of cells and I knew it had a face. If I could have my time back I would have never done it. I had to speak to my local vicar and it only helped a little. It has been very hard for me to write these words. I hope nobody edits them out. The problem is that it is a painful thing to go through, people avoid saying it like it is. The less you face up to the reality and I mean reality of your decision now, like me you may find it very hard later. I hope not. I wish you all the best at this very difficult moment in your life and whatever you do please consider and be gentle on yourself. I am just about getting there with forgiving myself, but it is still very hard.
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female
reader, xmollyx +, writes (23 July 2007):
 What my boyfirend told me and this is about anything your unsure of.. If your not sure dont do it! Really think what you want to do first having a child is not the end of the world. But dont have the abortion if your really not sure.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): Please darling dont go through with it,if you feel like this now how are you going to feel later on,i have known many girls who never get over the loss of a baby.On your own or not,when you hold your beautiful baby,you will see it was worth the pain you are now suffering now.The little one needs you now,and believe me you will need that person one day.if you are still unsure, ask to see your little one on a scan,bet they wont let you!and ask if they know for sure if you will get over it,YOU WONT,good luck honey,trust me i know.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): ok, firstly i'm going to tell you i dont believe in abortions, so i'm going to give you points about keeping the baby. at the risk of sounding harsh, it's not the baby's fault that you couldn't use contraception properly, so you shouldn't end it's life because of that.
and yes having a baby might stop you from doing a few things for a little while, but not forever, but it will also bring a whole lot of joy to your life that you wouldn't swap for the world.
have you thought about adopting the baby out? there are many women out there that cant have their own babies, giving birth is a privlidge.
i wish you would think strongly about what you are going to do.
you have a connection with this baby, thats special! dont end it!
Best of luck, let us know what happens.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): Hi, I had an abortion a couple of years ago and the only thing I regret was being ignorant about birth control (I tried the "natural" method, which obviously doesn't work). I didn't feel any regret afterwards, which surprised my friends, because I felt that I could not bring another life onto this planet. With global warming, corporate globalization takeover, U.S. military domination (and more wars in sight), the eventual disappearance of the middle class, overpopulation and the endless greed and corporate corruption raping the planet of all its resources, I cannot in good conscious bring a child into a world with such a bleak future (sorry to be such a downer). I think if I really wanted to raise children I would adopt, because there are so many unwanted children in this world who didn't ask to be born, and who deserve a loving home.
I hope this helps somewhat!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): I was dumped when my bloke and I found out I was pregnant,its tough choice I kept my baby, you get by and a child is no reason to stop you doing what you want to, Things have a way of working out. Think long and hard before you do this. if it is the right choice for you then do it, but if you feel connected already, maybe its not an option.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (20 July 2007):
 You don't HAVE to do anything hunni. You do need to have a serious think about this abortion though before you go. Maybe it would be wise to chat to someone before you go for it.
Ok, the child may stop you doing certain things but it wont stop you having a life. And lots of ladies bring kids up on their own.
I am 6 months pregnant at the moment. I'm not a believer in abortions as you can probably tell. I'm not going to judge you on your choice.... just advise you to think long and hard.
My mate had an abortion and she's regretted it ever since.
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