A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm have a hard time with using Twitter as a way of communicating with my boyfriend. We see each other often, text, call and email, but also use Twitter as the majority of our circle of friends use it. Most of the time I really enjoy using it, but I'm not sure how healthy it is/how often I should visit my boyfriends Twitter page to read his interactions with other people.This is probably a trust issue ~ I worry that if I don't check I'm going to find something that will upset me, but then again, checking stresses me out and I want to feel confident enough that I don't need to check what he's been saying to other people. I've never seen anything on his Twitter feed that would make me angry or make me doubt him, but I still feel compelled to check. Sometimes he'll be talking to people with locked accounts so I can only see his side of the conversation, I worry a lot so sometimes this makes me anxious as I won't know the context of a conversation.I want to be able to reach a balance between being able to check his feed like I would do with a friend ~ I mean, if I'm curious as to how a friend is doing I'll check their feed and feel fine, so I want to be able to do that with my boyfriend too. But at the same time, I'd really like to feel that I don't have to check it at all, because I want to be able to trust that he isn't saying anything that he shouldn't. I try not to check it, but I keep giving in and it's very frustrating. Any advice please?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 September 2012):
 What if he had an online life on Twitter and you never saw anything he was doing there? It's my understanding that most of the Twitter stuff is public. You can private message people, I guess, but how does that differ from email, or facebook or any of the other social networking media?
Do you have something else going on that is causing you to be suspicious or obsessive about this?
A
female
reader, Nik9 +, writes (16 September 2012):
If you can't trust him then why are you with him? If your answer to this question is: "But I do trust him",Then:If you know he is faithful and he's never done anything to make you feel like you can't trust him, then why stress yourself out and waste your time worrying for nothing?You said that your friends often go on twitter too, so wouldn't one of them tell you if they felt like he was saying or doing something that would affect your relationship? In other words, if he starts talking too friendly or too often with some other girl, won't someone notice if you aren't on twitter and tell you? And finally, he knows you use twitter too. So why would he publicly post things that would show that he is cheating or flirting with some other girl?I think you are most likely worrying for no reason. If he seems like the type who will cheat, leave him. If not, let go of these jealous and paranoid feelings and relax. Don't become one of those girlfriends who checks all his texts, phone calls, emails, browser history, twitter posts, etc. It will drive you insane and drive him away for good. You have to have trust on both ends in a relationship. If he's done nothing wrong, this is on you.
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