A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:theres this guy i have been with for 13 years, and i really love him. We are having problems right now and I really want things to work out with us. He Flirts alot online! and it drives me crazy. He lies about everything, to the girls he flirts with. He tells me it is fun and harmless. They live far away, like other countries, and its all a game, nothing to worry about. He is mad at me for being upset about this and not trusting him.I really want this relationship to work. I want to be positive and do the things i do to make things better.I have a hard time getting over his flirting and not being upset when he is talking with them.Would realy appreciate comments and suggestions.. thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): Right now it may seem harmless to him, but it becomes like a drug and eventually flirting will not be enough. He should not need validation from other women anyway. I understand you have put a lot of time and heart into this relationship but you cannot allow this to go on just to keep the peace because it will come back to bite you later. The longer it goes on the harder it will be to fix your relationship. You should tell him how serious this is to you and that it really hurts you. If he shrugs you off or doesn't take you seriously you have bigger problems than flirting. My husband was watching porn a lot and it was killing me. I finally had my say and my husband said he hadn't realized how strongly i felt about it and vowed to stop because he couldn't stand the thought of hurting me. And he did and we are better than ever. My point is wether your guy feels its wrong or not he should care that you care. It should be a no-brainer for him. Try a long serious talk, don't blame him just explain your feelings as clearly as you can. If he doesn't step up you may have a difficult decision to make. Not doing anything about this will only build resentment in you and destroy the relationship anyway.
A
female
reader, lolo89  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 this angers me so much.....this guy seems so lucky to have such a sensitive caring girlfriend as you and he wastes his time talking to absolute strangers....ask him why he doesnt spend his time talking to you? and if he cant answer that really consider how much this guy loves you.
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