A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, im not sure if this is about a relationship or not but im havig a bit of a breakdown i thinkthe guy im seeing who i love very very much is always out and abotu i seehim when i can etc and normally it doesnt bother me the last two days i havnt seen him and realli wanted to tonight he said he was busy after ignoring my first few calls. i dont kno where he is and yes i am a bit possessive i trust he wouldnt do anythin i jus dont liek it when i dont kno where he is. i kno i have friends that are after him and it scares me cos i feel im lucky to be with him. i jus had a breakdown kind of cant stp crying then thinkin aobtu my best frine d(who died 4 yrs ago) i felt the need to go to her grave i thne coudlnt find the right 1 by this time im in such and unbelievable mess. my bf was textin me askin wat was wrong but i couldt explain.i feel so useless at the moment everything upsets me i dont want ot be me anymore i hate myself i hate my job im jus nto happy, my bf makes me happy but i feel like im wainting for him to end it,(he end it then comes back quite often)i kno im a fool but i jus dont kno why i got in such a state and y im acting liek this its not lek me at all.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 July 2008):
I think the fact he is stringing you along has driven you to dispair. You are now so desperate for any crumb of attention you get from him that you'll take his crap the rest of the time.
Try and think clearly, is this love or is it more like an addiction? You get a huge high of him when he's nice and then days of pain after when he's gone.
I think you need to go cold turkey. Split up and get yourself off him and more strong and stable mentally. It will be so hard but it will be worth it in the end. You'll drive yourself insane if you carry on like this.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): I think you're still not over the loss of your friend, which is understandable. This might have to do in part with your "posesiveness" - you want to know where your bf is at every moment because you're afraid of losing him (and going over the pain of your lost friend all over). This happens subconsciously, so you don't realize what's going on with your feelings and you feel lost.
I think you'd benefit from therapy, as you sound like you have a lot of negative emotions you haven't sirted out yet. This doesn't necessarily have to do with your relationship - you mention things that have you unhappy besides your relationship (your job, yourself... you said you feel unhappy). But don't beat yourself up. Everyone has breakdowns when life isn't being particularly good to us. But hang in there, because you can recover. Just don't hate yourself for this, because while it isn't healthy, it certainly is normal and common, but most of all, treatable.
Best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Oh my hugs go to you. I feel really sorry for you. I'm going through a similar bad time in my life, so I know how you feel.
Your not useless. Its easier to say than to believe but your not. I don't believe it either. Everything upsetting you is unhealthy, and your generally not enjoying life.
But you have your boyfriend.
How can you call your friends your friends if they are after your boyfriend?! They're just insensitive.
You are a mess. But you can claw out of the deepest wells.
You need to write down on paper everything in your mind so its clear, and then explain it through that to your boyfriend. Have it in front of you if you want - this would also emphaisize how unhappy you are. All the jealously, everything.
This was possibly spurred on by the fact that you hate your job, everything upsets you so your scared of the one thing that you believe to find happiness from you will loose.
You desperatley need to explain it too him. If he has no answers or no advice see a consuellor, preferably with support.
You may feel its unnecessary but as I've said to many people, just the one visit can solve problems for a life time.
I know its easier said than done but with the support from your boyfriend you can do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): It sounds to me as if you have a low opinion of yourself.
You say you havent many friends cant you join soemthing to make more friends? I read somewhere that men are like elastic bands the more you stretch them away they bounce back better-quite true-so try leaving himn alone for awhile
and see if he comes back to you. if he doesnt then what have you lost.
It sounds as if you need to see a doctor and I dont mean that nasty but to get so low is not good for you.
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