A
female
age
36-40,
*tar.fizz
writes:I found out two weeks ago, that I'm pregnant. It's not planned but I'm really excited about it. My partner, however, isn't. He keeps insisting that he wants me to get rid of it, and has said if I kept it against his will, then its as good as stealing. He doesn't seem to realise that an abortion is a huge deal and not an easy decision. In fact, its not even an option I want to consider. I've tried talking to him about it but he just gets really angry, and when he's angry he breaks stuff. I've been unsure about whether I want to be with him for about two months now, but have been waiting to see If things improve. The pregnancy has made it harder to really know what I want. I just don't know what to do for the best. I don't want to end up making a decision I'm going to regret.
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female
reader, star.fizz +, writes (4 February 2011):
star.fizz is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys...I think deep down I've known the answer for a while, I just wanted someone to confirm what I felt/thought.I'm going to lay it out straight to him, either he stays and supports me and the baby or he sods off and finds a girl who will let him do what he wants, when he wants.I do love him, there's no doubt about it, but I think I love the baby more, if that's possible? It already means the world to me and I'm going to do anything I can to protect it and look after it, no matter what.Thanks again for your advice, it's helped me realise that the decision I've made isn't the wrong one.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): In an ideal world both partners would say 'yes let's have a baby together' then the child is assured that at least two parents want him/her. I think he feels his hand has been forced, a life changing decision made without his say so. But then he didn't use contraception (or maybe it failed). Whatever, you are where you are. It may be that he is in shock. He may change his mind. Ultimately, if you want the baby, it is fine for you to go ahead, maybe on your own, and have the baby. Keep him involved either way. As time goes by he may alter his view. But you can not bank on it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): I got pregnant at 19 and my ex wanted me to abort the baby. I told him that his mother should have had an abortion with his ass so that it would have saved me the trouble. He stayed with with me but he wasn't ready to be a dad at all. I eventually left him and moved on and had a fantastic life so far.My daughter is now 7 years old and she is the love of my life. The thought of me even attempting to abort her kills me. It's your body but just remember that children are a gift from God and you will resent that asshole for the rest of your life if you go through with the abortion. You can do so many things as a mother and the future love of your life will come along and be a great father to that beautiful child of yours. I went to college, got a career and still was able to have lots of fun with friends and whatnot while I was a single mom. I recently fell in love with a great guy and got engaged and he loves my daughter so much. That sperm donor fool has no say so on what you should do with your baby. He should have wore a rubber if he was so concerned about you getting pregnant. Any guy can get a girl pregnant but it takes a man to raise his kid. Think about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): I don't see the confusion here at all.
You've wanted to leave him for two months, for two months something just doesn't seem right and now he's trying to force you to have an abortion.
The choice is simple.
You leave him and you keep the baby. Those are the two things you want based on your question. So you lose poison and gain heaven in the form of a son or daughter, it's win/win.
Okay what's the alternative? You kill your unborn child because he wanted you to, you forever regret doing that because you know in your heart you want this child. You won't even be able to look at him if you do it, it would mean the end of your relationship with him anyway because you'd grow to hate him. But the worst part would be how much you hate yourself for it.
The decision is a very easy one. You know this and you've already made your mind up. You may have come here wondering if there's something you may have missed, because the answer seems almost too easy, but it's not, you know what you want, you know what's best for you and your child so just go ahead with it.
No more talking to him, no more compromise, your body, your choice. He better get used to the idea of being a father or he can piss off. That's that, no more talking just telling. He doesn't have a say in it. His say in the matter ended when he came inside you, if he didn't want a kid then he shouldn't have done that.
And no, it's not stealing he gave you his sperm willingly.
He's a fool and a child, sperm makes babies, that's what it does if a man doesn't want a baby he better make sure no sperm gets inside because after that and until birth he has absolutely no control over what happens.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): If you dont want to get an abortion then dont, its your body and your baby too, its not a one sided decision, a relative of mine had an abortion and she regretted it so much, and yes it is a big deal, but if your not even considering abortion as an option then dont let yourself get pressured into, remember its your baby also!
good luck x
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A
female
reader, blair.whitch  +, writes (4 February 2011):
hi my name is blair im 18 im 7 months pregnant and it has been a very difficult situation but it is only getting better and more and more clear that i made the right choice for myself. before you listen to one more word that BOY says, know this: this is YOUR baby. nothing he can do will change that. he has no legal or moral right to make any choices for you. he says that if you keep the baby it's "stealing"?? No. it sounds like he needs to take another sex education class to learn that if he didnt want a baby HE's the one who should have taken the responsibility to wear a condom!
the fact that he is having ANY negative impact on your decision infuriates me.
i know its hard to ignore your boyfriends drama, but lets look at whats really at stake here: the life of a precious baby. an innocent being, your possible future little girl or boy.
i want to tell you a little of my story..
i found out i was pregnant august of last year, and my boyfriend too wanted me to get an abortion AND I DIDN'T.
TA DA! END OF STORY. STOP BEING A WEAK SPINELESS EXCUSE OF A WOMAN AND CARRY THAT BABY TO TERM.
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