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female
,
anonymous
writes: Is his behavior appropriate. My ex-fiance (thank God he's an ex) used to do a lot of things that made me worry. And one was he was 34 (i'm 24) and he talked to a 17 yr. old because it was his 22 yr. old friend's younger sister. anyway, I remember thinking right when we started dating that it seemed like he was flirting with her. He would flip her pony tail, and when we got engaged he told his friend that was a girl (the 22 yr. old ) that he got engaged to her younger sister (the one that was 17!) He also joked and said that he cuddled with her on the couch in his RV when they all went on a trip once (I wasn't with him at the time). She texts him all the time saying things like how she misses him (we moved) and asking questions like "who's your girl?!" I told my fiance I thought it was weird that he is friends with girls that young, and he just says what's the big deal because they will be 18 soon! He says he thinks of them strictly as friends, but I can remember instances he said he thought her and her friends had crushes on him, etc. My ex-fiance went to a counselor growing up because he had a really bad childhood since his mom was an alcoholic. I guess his counselor said since he missed out on his youth he would probably date girls ten years younger than him. Well, I'm 24, but I'm not 17! I was always making excuses for his behavior telling myself that he is just immature and feeling sorry for him. But, is this appropriate behavior?! He even said that the 17 yr. old's younger sister who is 13 (and sexually active) sat on his lap at a dance club! Gross! I'm so glad I'm out of the relationship, I just need some reassurace please!
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alcoholic, crush, engaged, fiance, flirt, immature, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Hunny,
Your well out of that one, Dont look back TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Count your blessings you are no longer engaged to this man.
I wouldn't be worrying about it now though, you are split up, its time to move on and forget this creep.
He sounds quite sick if you ask me.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (18 October 2007):
Are these stories true or just his fantasies? A 13 year old on his lap at a dance club sounds like a huge problem. Since he's your ex, you need not try to figure it out. Just be smart enough not to jump back in.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): I think your 100% right that this is definately not appropriate behaviour for him to engage in. Even if he has no intentions of taking anything further, he is encouraging her, and indulging her.
He, to me, is enjoying the ego trip of his flirtations and her attention. He is immature and still needs to grow up.
You have done the right thing. He needs to settle down. I am surprised, but some men are so shallow, that he has anything to talk about with a kid. He's 34 for goodness sake. Why does he need 'friends' of this age.
Stick to your guns and find a grown up!
Good luck, your not being silly your being sensible that this is not acceptable behaviour for a supposed fiance!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto set the record straight, the girl is 16, not seventeen! and they have been friends since she was 15!
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