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female
,
anonymous
writes: I used to have really REALLY low confidence. More recently i've been trying to come across as more confident so that i feel more confident. It's really frustrating because i've realised that it's not a problem i can just solve because i don't know the source. Any ideas? I don't know why i'm not confident because i'm totally aware that i have everything going for me; i'm lucky enough to be young, intelligent, have self-respect and recently i've even been finding my appearence relatively attractive. I have good friends and a guy who i'm sort of dating, and a relatively secure family situation. I don't understand it.
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female
reader, clara +, writes (24 May 2006):
most females go through a stage of being unconfident and down on themselves for me taking part in group activites helped me overcome that phase of life i started dancing at a college leisure class and slowly came o relaise that yea i'm pretty and intelligent etc etc. try something new and unusual mix with different ppl and age groups it will help understand who you are and what you got and what you want it will also bring out the best in you which in turn mkes you confident. hope this helps. good luck x
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 This isn't a quick-solution problem, but here are a couple of ideas.
Write a list of all the great things about you and about your life. Things like:
* my family love me
* I'm attractive
* I'm intelligent
* I'm getting a good education
* I'm employable
* I have great friends... etc
Go on and on with your list, and make it a complete one. Then put it somewhere where you'll see it every day, like near a mirror or a calendar on on your computer. Make it a point to read through your list at least daily, to remind you of all the great things about being You.
When you start to feel down, go through your list in your mind, and try to think of more items that you like about your life. Try to expand your list if you can.
Eventually you'll start to realise that you're in a good situation and all the things you've listed will start to sink into your brain.
Another idea to remind you of all that's good in your life is to help people who aren't as fortunate as you. That could be by helping adults learn to read, or teaching migrants to learn English, or by going with some friends to visit people in a care home, or tutoring younger kids at school.
Volunteer work can become sort of addictive, because you're not only doing good work, but it makes you feel good to do it.
Finally, one last thought. If you think that you might actually be suffering from depression, get to a doctor and talk to him/her about it, so you can be screened and treated, if necessary.
Hope some of this may help!
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