A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A year after I met my boyfriend I found out he was cheating, we argued and split up for two months. He contacted me via MSN and we got chatting again, within three weeks I went running back because I was still in love with him. I thought because he had contacted me he was serious about giving us another try.I was happy to be back and put what had happened to the back of my mind but I never forgot. Things were going good until I found out he had sent indecent pictures of himself to another girl and told her that they would be good together. She replied to him that in no way was she interested.Now he doesn't know I saw those messages, and being the fool that I am I stayed quiet. I kidded myself that now she had knocked him back he would settle down and we could build up to a better relationship.For another year we carried on and he actually seemed to be happy and I believed that eventually we were okay and moving forward. Then last weekend he had arranged to come to my place to stay til the Monday. He called me on the Saturday morning to say that he could not make it but he would definitely be there Sunday. So I made plans to go out with girlfriends. Sunday came he turned up and whilst here he used my laptop to checks his E-mails.In my out box there is a mail to a girl he saw on Saturday saying how he had fun at the polo game and that he would see her soon. I confronted him on this and he said that he had promised to take this girl to polo a while ago and she contacted him on the Friday to arrange it as she hardly ever gets free time, he took her. I said to him that we hardly see each other as its usually only weekends and he said I was being selfish.I am going to put all I have to say in an E-mail and have done with. Its going to hurt as I do love him regardless. I suppose I'm looking for any hope here - will he be bothered? I hope so because if he just say something back like 'okay then' I know I will feel worse. How should I word it? Do I let him know that he hurt me or just act like I don't care? I want him to feel how I feel - is that bad? I hate where I am in life right now, and I know that only I can change it so why is it hard?
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female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (3 August 2009):
 You are lying to yourself if you want to write a good-bye email and "that's it, I'm done with it" but deep inside you are looking for some kind of hope from him. What do you actually want to do after you have caught him in the wrong yet again? Decide and stick to those colours. Be more resolute about what you want to do. If you think you will feel better by telling him how you feel and how he has made you feel by cheating, do so, I suggest that you write what you have to say to him on paper and talk to him days later when you have reviewed those ideas and are surer and more calm. It will be hard because you say you love him, but it's also true that you can change this situation, and move on from this cheater. How he takes the news should not count, focus on how you feel and your decision to be in a better place in time. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): stand strong! your much much better than to be treated like this! go find someone that loves you back!
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A
female
reader, hunkydory +, writes (3 August 2009):
STOP! Before you send this email you should talk to him. You can think what to points you want to bring up until the next time you meet him. If he does love you he will listen to what you ave to say and if not . . . he will just say he doesnt care. Although that will be hard it will be a shock to you and will make you angry which might make it easier for you to move on from this guy.
Hope that helps you a bit xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): Hello.
I personally think you should let him know how much he hurt you, and how muchb you did love him, I dont think you should ever take him back. If he has kissed somebody else before, what is stopping him from doing it agian. And the pictures, oh golly. He really doesnt seem worth it hunnie, and I know how hard it must be for you too let go, but that seems to be the only thing you can do.
In the e-mail you need to tell him that you know about the pictures, and just say whatever you feel about him, about how much he has hurt you.
I hope I helped in ayway.
Laura xx
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