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I'm going to meet a boyfriend's parents for the first time in my life; I'm very shy and so nervous about it

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Question - (21 July 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2007)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Help! I have to visit my boyfriend's parents for the first time tomorrow. This is the first time I've ever met a b.f.'s family. I know, surprising for a 35 year old. I'm very introverted and self-conscious and socially anxious (and don't exactly have a lot of confidence when dealing with new people) and I'm not sure what to expect or what's expected of me in a situation like this. His mom is going to cook dinner and we're all (my b.f., his parents and I) going to sit at the same table and eat. Is it okay to be quiet? Should I just ask them a lot of questions?

View related questions: confidence, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone! Your advice helped a lot. Leaving now....(wish me luck)!

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A male reader, Uncle Trev United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2007):

A meal like this with your boyfriends parents is just an opportunity for you all to get to know each other a bit more.

It is so you can see his background and learn a whole lot more about him, and it is so his parents can see that he is not dating a monster or a psycopath.

Get to know their interests and see if you share any of them.

Usually in a predicament such as this the person that would be the most nervous would be your boyfriend as he more than anybody else would want you to get on very well with each other.

Just be yourself, smile a lot, be happy and upbeat then if you do not get on the problems will lie more at the parents doors than they do at yours.

BTW the other two replies here offer some fantastic advice so just take from all of the replies what you feel you need - go for it and have some fun.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2007):

flower girl agony auntI agree with Kenny you just need to be yourself, has your boyfriend met any of your family yet if so ask him how he felt and dealt with the situation.

Tell your boyfriend that you are excited but at the same time nervous about the meet and he might have some things to say to put your mind at ease.

Hope all goes well and you have a lovely time.

Take care.xx.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (21 July 2007):

kenny agony auntI think the most important thing here is just to be yourself. Be very polite and say how pleased you are to meet them. I think they will respect you more for being quiet than someone loud who tries to take over the conversation. Compliment them on a few things over dinner like how nice the garden is or what a lovely meal his mother has cooked.

Just be yourself and im sure thay will love you.

All the best of luck x

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