A
female
age
30-35,
*tchew
writes:I read from one post before that a girl having very horrible experience when she lost virginity to her bf who having a 9" penis and felt like vagina split into two. I worry I will face the same situation as my bf slightly more than 8.5" and thick in around. We he hurt me bad like that?I plan to use a lot of lube and anybody can advise me how to use lube? I use or he use? If I use, put it at the entrance or inside?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): By all chances, it will most likely hurt a lot. Im not even a virgin, but big penises hurt me still. Average penises are the best, small penises I can't feel much, but large ones are never comfortable for me. So I cant help but feel nervous on your behalf. But it would be too cruel to leave your boyfriend just because of his penis size, so I will try and give you my advice. I had a boyfriend once who was really thick. And it's the girth that you have to consider here, not the length. I could never get on him with me on top at first, I tried once and it made me bleed (I was not a virgin when I met him). Also the first time me and him had sex it hurt so much I cried afterwards and couldn't even move my legs out of pain. And I was not even a virgin.
What helped though was for us to have sex quite often, I gritted my teeth, and slowly figured out what positions worked for me. I found that I had to start in missionary, always. So for your first time I advice that you do the same, spread your legs real wide too. And yes, use lubricant. Lubricant was the only thing that really really helped me back then. Also, do not let him pull out of you and then back in. If he's in, he needs to STAY in, and never pull out, because he will have such difficulties getting back in you without you hurting.
I will suggest though, since this is your first time, that you do not let him come in you. I suggest that you let him insert his penis, but then only do a few thrusts, and then pull back out. Or only stay in there for as long as you are comfortable. Don't worry about him coming! There will be plenty of opportunities for him to come once you get comfortable with sex! If it helps, my ex again, we had to try 3 times before I could take him long enough for him to come in me, and thats the time when I cried out of pain afterwards. I do not recommend that you push your limits hoping to satisfy your boyfriend. He can be satisfied with a handjob. Or you two can masturbate together afterwards.
A last tip could be that you try to insert the penis before he is fully erect. With lube this shouldn't be a problem. Oh, and do not try to take in his full length. Most vaginas are shorter than the average penis even, and there is no point in trying to take in all of him.
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (29 March 2010):
 As I answered in a previous post about a virgin asking advice, I'm going to tell you the same thing. Don't think too much ahead of time. People worry themselves too much. Has he had sex before? A man has full control over what he is doing, which means he can control have fast he enters and how deep he goes. He should be able to notice how you are reacting (pain/no pain) and adjust from there. If he's just the type of guy to enter you and not care just for his pleasure, then you don't want to have sex with him.
Lubricated condoms with lube are all you need. And lube can be used all over and inside. For your first time you MUST GO SLOW. Thats it. Don't worry yourself with crazy visuals scaring yourself. No matter what your first time will NOT be an amazing, magical experience. It takes a few times to get used to it.
GO SLOW.
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