A
male
age
36-40,
*ayLovesSam
writes:Guys, what can one do to become less needy and clingy? if you read my previous question you will see my issue, were back together, I want to change back to the person i was a few years back. I have to change now or i will lose my girlfriend who i do consider to be my soul mate, I would very much like any advise from people who used to be this way and got over it, what did you do? what would you suggest for me?Kind regardsJames x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): It's hard to do. I know, I just met a girl, and I can't help but want to hold her, for her to hold me etc. You need to realize your world isn't entirely her. It's about finding the balance between showing her your affection but being independent enough to be able to stand on your own. Essentially don't keep making her what your life revolves around. Realize she's special, but that she isn't the whole world.
Hope this helps
A
female
reader, Practical  +, writes (27 July 2010):
 You have to bring yourself into believing that u have to change for yourself, first .. then for anyone else .. being clingy is something that u don't want to be .. not just because you are afraid of getting dumped by your gf ..
I guess that being needy and clingy has to do with being afraid of losing the person you love .. get over that fear .. always tell yourself that even if u ended up alone, you will get over that .. tell yourself loudly that u r a special person with much to offer and losing you is too bad for others .. don't get cocky but always remind yourself of how good you are ..
try working on that idea and try to have new hobbies and other activities that is something of your own .. don't share them with your gf..
be confident and independent .. self-empowerment is an ability that when activated will be the answer to most of our obstacles and fears ..
if u don't see any progress in 2-3 months(progress in how u deal with others and how u deal with yourself), I guess the best next step is talking with a therapist ..
Good luck to you, I hope u can find hope and help in my comment ..
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