A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has asked me to take a break from our relationship. We have been together for 5 months now. I am going off to college and he is so overstressed about school, football, me leaving, and his good friend going over seas. I love this boy more than anything, so i'm willing to give him time. He says he needs to get his health and happiness back.. I'm worried that if i let him go he will forget me when i leave. He said he still loves me and just wants a little break.we will still talk, hangout, and skype. But that doesn't stop the hurt that im part of the problem and that he's pushing me away when life gets hard. I need advice. what should i do? ignore him, be short, be there for him (i want to be). i just dont know and im so scared to lose him out of my life because him and i are like magic. please help
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (8 September 2011):
 You know, you can't come from the attitude that "I'm so scared to lose him." If you indulge thoughts/feelings such as that, you will worry him, be tempted to call, text, skype, etc. more than he feels comfortable with. Then you'll start to feel panicky if you sense he's pulling back.
Not good, particularly when you will have your studies to concentrate on, and all that goes with being in college.
If the two of you get on well together, and things have generally been positive (enjoyable, supportive, sharing humor, being able to resolve any disagreements without loss of temper by either of you and so on) you need to be able to relax a bit and have some faith that it will all work out.
Blod's advice to you is on target, so hopefully you can pay attention to what she has written.
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 If you are both 'like magic', then you have nothing to fear from giving him the space he is asking for.
It hurts when someone we care deeply for appears to want to move into a new part of their lives without us. Sometimes when they tell us they still love us and will remain close with us, they are trying to let us down gently – it’s not us, it's them, etc., etc… In truth, what can someone actually say that won’t hurt? It is NOT you. You are great, but they are not in a place where they can be in a relationship with anyone, or maybe they don’t feel the same way as they once did – it isn’t that you said anything wrong or did anything wrong. Sometimes we can’t explain why we feel differently.
If some all-knowing entity came to you and said, "The following year will be filled with exciting new experiences and friends and you are more likely to enjoy them while single," what would you do with your time?
Go and do that. Be good to yourself. You deserve it. You earned it.
Maybe he will come back, you both will still be ‘like magic’ and you will have spent this time worrying for nothing… or maybe you will be so busy in your new school with your new friends that you will agree this was a good change…
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Blod  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 I think you should probably give him some time. You're going to college which means that you're going to have a lot of things going on, and he's clearly preoccupied too. And during these times, it's actually better not to be too tied down, especially as you're so young. So I don't think it'd do any harm for you to take a bit of a break. It'd take some pressure off you both for a while and you can always get back together properly afterwards.
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