A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm getting married in 3 months my fiancee and i have been together for about 2 year i know that he loves me and he respects me and tries to mAke me a better person. we almost Have everything ready for our wedding I'm having some doubts I get scared and sad some times I'm only 23 years old and I feel like I need more time before we tie the knot is this normal ???
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female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Cold feet,very normal... but listen to your heart,trust your inticts.congrats on your engagement and goodluck to the 'coming' marriage
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@annalisa yeah i think they are getting the wrong image of our relationship I’m going to talk to my mother and see what exacting she is feeling or if she is seeing something that I’m not. thank you so much for your support I’m glad I found this web site because i really don’t have anyone to talk to I do have friends and I tell them my situation but they don’t truly understand me because they are not married nor engaged so thank you to all !
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@cindy honestly there is no real reason we are good in every aspect and may be your right it might be that I’m to young and that they don’t want to lose me
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 any specific reason why your family does not like you getting married ?... Maybe they think you are too young ? Or that you are not enough financially solid yet ?... Or , they'll just miss your help with the younger siblings ?...
I mean , there must be some reason, ( not necessarily a good reason ! ) why all your family is raining on your parade and also perhaps transmitting you pessimism ...
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 It's called "getting cold feet" not unusual at all, I wish I'd listen more to my inner insticnts years ago but brushed them away. You might just want to reschedule.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@data Luke thank you !!! I think your right ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you girls for all of your help!!!!
@Cindy I think your right I'm just scares of change especially leaving my family I'm very attached to them and I'm the oldest so I'm the third parent I have taken care of my brothers and sisters since they where born just like my mom and dad would they have even grown to call me mom( but I didnt let them.) And my fiance tries to make me a Better person just like do as well we see our flaws and we try to work them out we r very spiritual people and to us getting married is one of the ways to get to heaven so he helps me the things that are not a path toheaven we both Try to work it out so we can get there.@ Annalisa when I think of my proposal I was very happy (didn't really like the way he did it but I guess that's okay) and like you said I'm not going to rush this I'm going to sit down with my self thing this throughly and then talk to my fiance let him know how I feel then if needed we or I can talk to one of our spiritual councilors That would be my last step.@ both I also talked to my mom about this and she doesnt like the fact that I'm getting married I don't have any support from any of my family yeah they like my fiance but the just don't want me to marry him my mom is a person of a very very strong attitude and she keeps telling me that I need more time that I should wait that she doesn't see me happy. I can't show that I'm happy around her because she get mad I can't talk to her about anything over my relationship because she is very negative! So there's no ways I can show my feelings around here:,(
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (14 January 2011):
I have often heard of people getting cold feet just before the wedding. Just because of stress, and fear of change.
Nevertheless, I think that getting married (and, alas, getting divorced ) are a big, big deal . If you don't feel elated and excited and enthusiastic at the idea of becoming a wife, perhaps I'd postpone the date for a few more months and in the meantime I would try to go to the root of my feelings . To decide if it's just pre-nuptial blues , or some alarm bell from your subconscious. Better safe than sorry.
I don't want add paranoia to the situation, but I can't help finding slightly curious something you say- you say that your fiance tries to make you a better person.
How ?and WHY ?
He is supposed you to love you exactly the way you are now. Flaws included...
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A
male
reader, Dataluke  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 This is the most normal wedding feelings in the world and its experienced by millions of men and women every year around the world.
Express your feelings to your partner, but try not to alarm him and make him think you want to call it off.
What your experiencing is the anxiety that you will have to give up the possibility of having a single life. Try and focus on the good aspects of the marriage and all the new experiences your going to have through marriage. Also focus on the reasons why you said yes in the first place.
I know you will be fine. I wish you a life time of happiness and joy.
Congratulations, Dataluke
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