A
female
age
41-50,
*llesomewhere
writes:I am around 30 years old and about to get maried to this guy I have been in a relationship for 5 years. The relation has not been very easy all the time but I can say it was very good lately although passion wasn't like beforem We had a great sexual match in the begining...it still is good but less passion I would call. I think same thing like in every long term relationship. Then a month ago I meet this guy. We were at the some business trip outside of our country that lasted 2 weeks. And we were so attracted to each other since the begining. First week we were just chatting.Didn't mention to each other if we had a realtion or not. But we kept thinking for each other. Although we tried very hard to controll our emotions,the second week we end up kissing and sleeping together. Not sex yet involved. And he tells me he is married and has a baby. I tell I am about to get married.I think being sinciere fired things more and we end up making love for the rest of period...it wasn't just sex...it was making love...than we separate at the airport promising that we would write. And we did write passionally for like a month. When I got back to my boyfriend I was still happy that nothing had change in my feelings for him.Although I kept thinking all the time about the other guy too. Now after one month the other guy still writes to me but not so passionately I would say..And I would say he more writes to reply to my mails. I don't like it although I do realize that this must end.But I can't take him out of my mind. Actually I am sad a little bit. Can anyone help?? I want to get back to where I was before meeting him
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male
reader, southernsky21  +, writes (22 August 2010):
Friend
I cant judge anyone , because I made the same emotional mistake and it cost me. I hate to say this, but you better come clean to your boyfriend because guilt will eventually fester in you as it did me.
When you learn to confront your concerns early on in a relationship, the passion will never leave. I'm gonna tell you why so many relationships go to hell so fast and in the future. You ready? Its because people hold in their feelings too much. STOP IT!!! lol. You have to be honest about your emotional needs, as well as sexual needs. if hes working on a project and you are horny, kiss his neck. If you are having a bad day and need some advice, ask him. Make you presence know to him and he will reward you over and over, later, and later ;). Honesty is your best route, and his answer will prove whether he is the right one for you or not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): I think that maybe you are just nervous about getting married because you know that if you get married its supposed to be a life long relationship but dont know if hes the one so thats why you have an attachment to this guy. But this man is married with a child and he cheating with on his wife you, as you are with your fiance. You said that want things to go back to the way before you met this man so I suggest you stop talking to him altogether.
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