| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi. This might take a whilebasically I have a boyfriend and I am gay. recently I have been having a few weird feelings towards one of our mutual straight friends. I have known him for a couple of years and always thought he was cute but straight and out of bounds. until a few weeks ago I had gone for a night out with him and was walking back home with him alone. He suggested he knew the way. We have always shared banter about sex. then we stopped for a cigarette on the way home drunk. We. lay next to each other on the floor. We were chatting and flirting as usual. when he suddenly asked if I was coming on to him. I asked him what he classed as coming on to him. He said he didn't know so I put my arm over him. He didn't react so I went in for a kiss and he kissed me back. before I knew it we were tearing each others clothes off and kissing passionately. It was amazing. We then did 69 etc and it was so sexually but also romantic. After we had finished we had a chat about it on the rest of the way home and agreed it was fun but he said he isn't gay but wudnt mind doing it again. We have since done similar on 3 occasions but he said he doesn't want to kiss me as he doesn't want to get 'feelings' as he isn't gay. We have kept it a secret and nothing has really changed. He spends a lot of time with me and my partner and it isn't awkward at all. I think however that I'm starting to fall for him. me and my partner have been living seperate lives for ages and he doesn't like sex or affection. I wonder where this leaves me as my partner makes me feel so alone and has no interest in me
View related questions:
drunk, flirt, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2014): Thanks for the replies. my partner is not interested in sex with anyone. He doesn't respond to any sexually advances at all. I have just spent the night talking to the friend (just talking) and it is like nothing happened although he acknowledges that it did and says he doesn't feel awkward about it and again did not suggest that it WON'T happen again. He seems very confused which is leading me to be confused. With regards to the boyfriend matter he has told me on more than one occasion that he doesn't like sex and I should find someone who does. I never took it seriously and didn't go out for meaningless sex. However I really do like my friend to the point where he is the first person I think about each day and the last each night. We live yards from each other and I don't wanna push him. I'm not looking for advice re; my partner just the friend atm as I am sure my partner wudnt even realise I had gone for a few days if I dissapeared tomorrow. but I do want to take it further with the friend. It means a lot to me. I'm not after relationship advice as I know and my partner don't have a future atm just a lot of ties and in sure we could easily become friends straight from a relationship as I'm sure he has been seeing someone else and I'm actually not bothered by it at all. I'm only concerned with the future now not what mistakes we have both made in the past
thanks
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2014): Thanks for the replies. my partner is not interested in sex with anyone. He doesn't respond to any sexually advances at all. I have just spent the night talking to the friend (just talking) and it is like nothing happened although he acknowledges that it did and says he doesn't feel awkward about it and again did not suggest that it WON'T happen again. He seems very confused which is leading me to be confused. With regards to the boyfriend matter he has told me on more than one occasion that he doesn't like sex and I should find someone who does. I never took it seriously and didn't go out for meaningless sex. However I really do like my friend to the point where he is the first person I think about each day and the last each night. We live yards from each other and I don't wanna push him. I'm not looking for advice re; my partner just the friend atm as I am sure my partner wudnt even realise I had gone for a few days if I dissapeared tomorrow. but I do want to take it further with the friend. It means a lot to me. I'm not after relationship advice as I know and my partner don't have a future atm just a lot of ties and in sure we could easily become friends straight from a relationship as I'm sure he has been seeing someone else and I'm actually not bothered by it at all. I'm only concerned with the future now not what mistakes we have both made in the past
thanks
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (24 September 2014):
 Honeypie is full of wise thought on this matter.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 September 2014):
 Well your "straight" friend isn't straight. THAT is for sure. Straight guys don't have sex with other men. Bi-sexual guys do.
To me though it sounds like he doesn't WANT to be gay and what comes with that "label" he calls himself straight? Maybe because that is HOW he wants to see himself?
If he identify himself with being STRAIGHT - he is not going to want to be YOUR bf.Right now I think he is having fun experimenting with you. THAT might change.. More likely he will cut the contact at some point because he feels like what he is doing with you is "wrong" (for him).
I'm sure you know being straight, gay, asexual or bisexual isn't a choice. It's what we are or are not. So it's not like you can MAKE him want to be gay.
And if you BF doesn't like sex or affection then what do you have with him? And is that why you think cheating is OK? Or does your BF know you are screwing around with another dude?
...............................
|
