A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:To get straight to the point, I have a pretty big crush on my best friend, but I'm not sure how he feels.My friendship group is a quite big one - there are around 30 of us - and both my ex-boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend are in this group. Me and my ex-boyfriend are fine now, we talk and are perfectly okay with each other, but my ex and my best friend are close friends. To make things worse, his ex-girlfriend and I are quite close friends - although we've drifted apart of late.The main problem is that over the past 8-9 months or so, me and my best friend have been talking constantly (I helped him through his break up with his girlfriend of nearly 3 years when she broke up with him), and we've become exceptionally close. I've become more dependent and I think I've fallen for him over the past 3-4 months (I'd also liked him previously) but I'm unsure if he feels the same. Since we share classes and sit next to each other at college, he'll hold my hand under the desk or give me compliments and act like he used to with his ex girlfriend, and will get disappointed if I move my hand away - even if it's just to write - and 99.9% of the time there is no explanation. Other times, he won't talk to me at all during the day, yet still behaves the same in the classes we share.I'm not sure if this is to gauge my reaction (as he stares at me sometimes while he does it) or whether he's genuinely interested in me - especially as he's told me he likes someone, but won't tell me who. I have so many questions about it - whether I'm reading far too into his behaviour, if he actually likes me at all, and if he does, whether it would be appropriate to actually start to date him, considering both of our exes are in our friendship group and it may make things awkward - but I'm not keen on discussing it with him in case it wrecks the friendship we have already and I wouldn't want to jeopardise that.Any help or insight into this would be amazing, as I don't want to read any further into things that possibly aren't there! Thanks, Anon.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was so worried I was reading far too into it and I can really see the point you're making now I look back on it, and agree with you completely! Thanks so much for your advice!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2014): It sounds like he flirts and shows you how he really feels when he knows your ex and his ex aren't around. When you're out and about, he acts more like a friend. Afraid they (or anyone) will find out he likes you.
You have to ask him why he holds your hand and acts so differently. You have to let him know he is confusing you and you are uncomfortable about it. Don't allow boys to play hot and cold with you. If they get caught by some other girl they like, they'll say it's you, not him. If he likes you, he has to be open with it. Otherwise, be consistent and stop confusing you. Only he can explain what he's up to. If he's holding your hand, gazing into your eyes, and complimenting you; that's making passes and flirting. If you want to pull your hand away, pull your hand away. Enough with the games. Be one way or the other.
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