A
male
age
30-35,
* am gay, he says he is straight, but is he?
writes:I met this guy in a straight gym in Essex, England and i fell in love with him from day one. I got to chat with him, and asked him to be my gym buddy, which he agreed to. While we were in the jaccuzi, i noticed how he was staring in my eyes with real admiration, that gave me the courage and, Later on the mobile, i text him and told him that i was gay. He made it clear to me that he was 120% straight.Well he was willing to continue to be my gym buddy so i said phew! As two weeks passed i built up the courage to ask him if he wanted me to massage him and after another week he obliged. I massaged him in the view of others, but i felt uneasy so i stopped. I text him and asked him for us to do it somewhere more private, but he declined. When we met at the gym again, i massaged him again, but this time it was in the steam room and it was very sensuous. I was all over him. At one point he said that he hated his feet as i was massaging his firm legs. I was gonna go further as i was an inch away from his crotch and for some reason i did not. The next time i met him at the gym, again the massage went on and i was well determined to go all the way because on the phone he even text to say that he hung around gays. But to my surprize, as i was trying to get into his shorts, he held onto his crotch for his dear life and i never got further than that. He avoided me since then ,but still text to say we were gym buddies for five weeks until he just stopped returning my text. I wondered what i did wrong and cant come up with the answer. I also wondered how i could get back in touch with him, so i left an expensive New Year gift with a note at the receptionist for when he visit the gym again, hoping that will do the trick. I just hope it works.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): in my oppinon all straight men have bisexual tendancys... for him to " let you " get as close as you did was a privledge to you. no matter if hes bi/gay he will remember what had happend and come to terms with himself.... just give it time
A
male
reader, g20bea +, writes (30 September 2008):
To go one step further I have totally fallen for a younger guy who Ive known for a few years. Im gay but totally straight acting and not out to anyone. Our football team went away our annual football team weekend away and to my complete surprise when we were both drunk we started kissing and fondling each other. Nothin was said of it when we came back home and I neva saw him for about a week after it but been at training and stuff and things just as normal as before we went away the only thing is I cant stop thinking bout him.. like all the time! A few weeks back (bout 2 months after the first time) a few m8s came back to my place for a few drinks and at the end of the night it was just the two of us left and we ended up sleeping together (he came onto me)??? This has just totally sent me crazy for him even more and dont know how to go about getting close to him, dont know if he is gay or bi but does still see a girl but dont know if it is just a side show to his m8s to cover up the fact he is gay... Something i've done myself in the past.
Still see him few times a week but nothing is ever mentioned about wot happened before but want to make a move how do I do it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): I was in a similar situation. I don't know if the boy I liked was gay or not til this day. But if you continue to fall for him, the more in love you fall, the more you will be hurt if he doesn't fall for you the same way. If anything I think the best thing to do is make sure he/she is gay or not before any true love happens. There are (from what I hear) a lot of straight guys, who like the gay environment, but LOVE girls, and not boys. One of my friends spends $300 on designer pants that he buys in San Fran, and goes to gay clubs, and has a lot of gay friends, but has had 2 relationships with girls that have lasted over 3 years each.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Fella, if this story is real rather than just some fantasy, I'd say nail the idea of getting closer on the head right now. Even if, under some bizarre circumstance, something does happen, he may hate you for it and it'll end in tears, perhaps even violence. For heaven's sake, as a gay man it's hardly the hardest job in the world to get some easy sex. Even if, as the massage suggests, he's willing to take things further than most straight guys ever would, what are the odds that he will love you, like you think you love him? And do you love him or simply what, as a sporty heterosexual, he represents, a masculine ideal? There's a difference between that and 'real' love (as a gay man I know), and the stupidest thing gay men do is mistaking their awe, sometimes even envy, for love. It isn't. Apologise, as Annalisa says, and seek the real deal from a guy who can happily reciprocate. Life as a gay man is complex enough.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): he definitly sounds gay, but you never know i guess, and yeah maybe you should have just waited a bit longer before trying to get in his pants lol.
I kinda have the same problem, although on a much smaller scale - we are both 16, and I really think I am in love with him (would do anything for him, hate being alone without him, etc), and he even knows about my feelings for him, yet he hasn't mentioned it AT ALL.
He isn't out if he is gay, but I have decided he must be. He is quite camp and never denies being gay when questioned by other ppl, but he never admits it! I just hate the fact that he hasn't told me if he likes me back... I think I might confront him lol...
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reader, gayguy16 +, writes (26 January 2008):
 I kinda find it wierd why he would let you message him, most straight guy i'd think would cringe at the idea ov another guy messaging them, I think there something behind it, maybe he got nervious or imbarrest,or maybe hes confused about his sexuality, yeah, I agree with most folk you shouldnt had came on as heavy as u did, but as said by others learn from your mistakes,
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008): What you did wrong was disrespect him. He told you he was straight and you tried to get into his pants! What would you do if a female friend tried to get into your pants - hey I don't think you'd like it. He may not be as straight as he claimed but you can't just force your way in.
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