A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, i'm a 27 year old woman and i live in my bedroom and its driving me insane, and causing me to be depressed. i live with my mom and two brothers in a family home in a small village. I have had to move here because I am now unemployed and can't afford to move out until i get a job and pay off some student debt. i have no money at all and am on unemployment benefit.When i get a job, i think i'm still gonna struggle, so i can't see it changing anytime soon.All of my stuff is in storage and i live in a tiny room at the back of the house which is basically my home. i live in here, i sleep in here, i have a tv and a pc in here and all of my stuff is stacked up in here, and i spent most of my day in this room, on the pc, typing to people on facebook or msn, because its my only source of interaction. If my internet got cut off, i think i would crack up. I don't feel comfortable downstairs sitting with my mum who just watches tv all the time, and my brothers and their gfs are taking up the rest of the space and its only a small house.Its affecting my confidence. i feel like a mess-up because i'm an adult and wasting my youth sitting here, asking the bill payers permission to make a phone call, my mum doing my washing, her interfering, me having to tell her what i'm doing and where i am. i'm embarrassed. i'm living in a village where i cant even be near my friends to socialise because i'm 20 miles from nearest town. I am going insane. Friends are becoming concerned about me, i'm becoming concerned about me. My sleeping patterns are all screwed up, most days i only leave the house if i run out of cigarettes. i'm not waking up in the morning, because i see no point and sometimes will stay in bed until 3pm. sometimes i'll stay up til 8am, worrying about my situation. i have nothing to do here, and i cannot live like this anymore. i have no privacy, and i can't invite friends over. I'm 27 years old and i feel humiliated that i had to move back into my old bedroom like a teenager. I feel so trapped and i don't know what else to do.
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confidence, debt, depressed, facebook, money, msn, trapped Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): Hi
Apply to university or college.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 February 2009):
Aw hun, I have THE most sympathy for you right now. I know EXACTLY what you are going through and it WILL get worse until you end up having to go on happy pills.
Confinement like that is TORTURE. Your parents, try as they might, will never get out of the habit of parenting and will want to know where are you going, what time are you going to be back etc etc etc. My dad still does it now and I'm 25 and married.
You need to find a friend with a spare room, anywhere in the country, it doesn't matter. Even if it's only a floorspace with a single mattress and a fan heater, it doesn't matter. Then get out there and get any kind of job you can. Bar work, Aldi and Tesco are both recruiting, do ANYTHING you can that will pay you enough to pay a bit of rent and eat.
I know the other aunts have given good advice but I think a lot of them have never been in that much isolation. I'm stuck in a tiny village too and I KNOW there is nothing to do, no where to go, and how difficult it is to get into a town and back unless you have a car.
My advice is to get out of there and back to civilisation FAST.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (2 February 2009):
 Isn't it great that your mother can take you in and help you through this rough time. Parents all over the world a doing this. At great sacrfice. You feel ackward because you are not in control. Getting back on your own two feet with a new job will help that. Even a part time job would get you out of the house. Volunteering or training would also help. The main thing is to get back in controll. FA
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A
female
reader, laureneli +, writes (2 February 2009):
wow.this is exactly whats happening to me right now.except i live on a farm with my grandparents, who im not close with.i feel exactly as you do.i live in my little 'cave'.its awful, huh?well, if youd like you can talk to me.i got penpals to ease my woes.the only thing that keeps me sane is that i get out monday- thursday to go to school.i think you should at least get a part time job, so you can get in touch with civilization.just get out of the house, or start learning a new language.or preoccupy yourself with something fun.i paint, knit, etc...but im still going insane.just try to be positive, and know that this will pass.you just have to wait.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009): Why don't you get out of the house for a while everyday. Go over someone else's house. Go over to your friends house.Maybe go somewhere and hang out for a bit, so you can get out of the house for a little bit.The first thing you should do is Get A Job, ASAP. That can be your excuse for getting out of your house everyday, Go Job Hunting.But, during the days, go do something during the day that will let you get away from your house and your family for the day.I kind of have the same problem as you, except I work from home, and I don't mind living here with my family, they are really respectful of my privacy, and I am helping my family out financially (I pay the bills).But, wishing you the best with your job hunting, and I hope you get back on your feet soon enough.Best of luck to you. =-)
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