A
female
age
30-35,
*exxiylove
writes:Hello everyone. I am 17 years old and I'm pregnant. I am 5 months pregnant and the boy who got me pregnant was my boyfriend of a year. He has now decided to choose alcohol and drugs over me and my little girl. I'm not really sure as to what I shall do. He emotionally abuses me. He constantly is getting my hopes up by telling me we will be together soon and he wants to live with me. But then he goes out and gets drunk and high. I just started a job working 9 hours a day and he told me he'd help with taking me to work and last night he made me walk 8-10 miles home. I am unsure as to what I should do. I love him so much but his emotional abuse is hurting me. I've been in the hospital many times due to the stress he is causing me. My little girl is going through so much because of him. I guess my question is, is what should I do? Do I give him up? Do I continue doing this? I love him so dearly and he is my world but this stress is so unhealthy for me. I really need some help. Please and thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2012): what kind of man would leave his woman to walk 10 miles after 9 hours shift??..Your are pregnant!..please love you more, love your baby more.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 August 2012):
 Other then the fact that you dated hi ma year and that he is the father of your unborn child NOTHING you write here speaks well of him, and nothing you you do will magically make him a decent guy.
Let him go. Focus on YOU and the baby.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 You need to put yourself and your baby first - and this means getting this guy out of your life. While he is hooked on alcohol and drugs he is only going to let you down and hurt you, he needs to sort himself out before he can be the partner you need and the father your little girl will need in the future.
Put yourself first and forget about this guy for now, he cannot be in your life while he has drugs and alcohol in his life.
Sit down and talk to him one final time - explain that because of his drug and alcohol abuse he can no longer be in your life. Ask him to stop contacting you as he is damaging your health through stress. Tell him that you do love him and would like him to be in your child's life, but until he stops using drugs and alcohol he cannot come near you because you dont want to put your child's life at risk by being around someone who is hooked on drugs. He probably wont respond to this and will carry on as before, but at least you will have explained why you are not letting him see the child until he has sorted himself out.
If I were you I would also put this conversation into writing (send him an email or letter with the date on) so if things get nasty and he starts demanding visitation to the child, you will have written evidence that you have asked him to stop using drugs otherwise he cannot see the child. That should cover you legally in case he decides to try and push for custody of the child.
I hope this helps - and please dont waste any more time on this guy while he has drugs in his life, he will only damage your health and the child's health. You need to focus on yourself and get any bad people out of your life, and at the moment he is in a very bad place and will only drag you down. He needs to sort himself out, so stop relying on him and give him the space he needs to sort his life out.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 " My little girl is going through so much because of him "- only because you allow it. A boy with alcohool and drugs addictions, and not the faintest intention to change, as of know, is not the kind of father that your baby, any baby, should have around. When you have chosen to carry on the pregnancy and have this baby, you have implicitely chosen , from now on, to change your priorities and put this child´s wellbeing, health and happiness above anything else- including her own dada if he is an unfit ,selfish parent. Take more seriously this responsibility and act accordingly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2012): o.m.g yes leave him he will end up in prison one day if he is on drugs and that is not a life for u and ur baby. leave him stay with your family and stay safe. keep your job going and think of yourself and daughter. dump this boy.
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