A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are both Actors and a few months ago he went away for 11 days to film. Whilst he was there he made a few friends but got very close with this one girl because of various divisions in the group. I first got the impression they were just good mates but when she was all he spoke of when he returned, I felt a little uneasy. I've never met this girl but I know she does glamour modeling, is about 3 years younger than I am.I told him I felt a little awkward about it and he stopped talking about her so much in front of me.Since then, everything's been fine, we're a very solid and happy couple, but this afternoon he let me know that she's just split from her boyfriend and had asked if she could stay with him for a couple of days ... which in itself I appreciate him asking.I had some time to process this and said that she could but i wasn't too comfortable with it - but would (as a mature adult) like to take the time to get to know her.Today it's all got a bit out of hand because despite my saying 'yes' to her coming, he's now accused me of not trusting him because I let him know my true feelings about the situation.I trust my boyfriend 100%. But I find it a little odd that this girl is suddenly very interested in staying with my boyfriend and having him as her shoulder to cry on. And she isn't a friend of his he's had for years (I'd probably wouldn't have a problem if she was) they met each other on an 11 day shoot. Surely she has other friends to confide in?My boyfriend got upset because he thinks I don't trust him but it's nothing to do with that. As a female, all the alarm signals are going off because whilst she had her boyfriend she never wanted to stay, but now she's on the phone and wanting to see him.I personally don't think it's his responsibility to pick up the pieces for her but I'm trying to be mature about this. Is this purely innocent or am I wrong to feel uneasy about this? And how can I approach him on this - a male input would be very much appreciated! Thanks. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): I haven't left him?!I just wanted to know how to approach the situation in a way he will understand. We are by no means breaking up over this! I just want for him to understand from a female point of view that she might have different motives. But because she is his 'friend' I don't know how to word it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): yOU SHOULD NOT HAVE LET HIM. You obviously regret your decision. Why don't you tell him he can;t.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 Try telling him that it's not him that you don't trust but her. Tell him that as a woman you know what motivates women better than he does and that's why you're feeling uneasy. What may be innocent on his part may not be on hers, then again it may all be innocent. Better to not read too far into things but keep your guard up.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): well, try to be with him as long as possible, maybe plan fun days out with just the two of you? spend as much time ith just him as possible.
...............................
|
